Lost in London Page #4

---

No, no, no, no.

Grim.

No, look, and the funniest thing

about this is that...

he's actually upstairs right

now with his wife.

You know, the Asian one?

That's his wife?

Yes.

And they're okay with this?

Well, she didn't seem upset...

and they actually seemed

quite happy.

Although, Asians are the

masters of hiding emotion.

So true.

Mmmhmm.

Oh, she's so fit, so much fitter

than any of these.

God, so much surgery in

one photograph.

Do I need surgery here?

Babe, just slap it, you'll

be fine.

D'you know what I think?

This is options though, for

you, for tonight.

Come on, they're obviously not

happily married.

If you don't wanna go

for Seaweed, I'd go for him.

I think he's an actor.

I don't do 'married'.

He likes Asians anyway.

Babe, none of these women are

Asian.

Well, not with those b*obs, no.

Okay, you good?

Yeah. I'm just checking

I have it. Yeah.

You good?

Fine, let's go.

Yeah.

Oh, teeth, teeth, teeth, teeth.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, check me.

Am I okay?

Okay and me?

Definitely?

Yeah, you're fine.

Are you sure? No Seaweed?

Not yet there isn't.

( BOTH LAUGHING )

Can you just check the

bogies for me?

Yeah.

Okay, you're good. Me?

Am I clear?

Clear skies, yeah.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

Wait, is he an actor...

or am I just completely

getting that wrong?

Oh my god, yeah, babe,

he's been in so many films.

I feel like it's TV. Yes.

Oh my god, what's it called?

It's so famous, and it made him.

'Full House'.

D'you know what?

I never saw that.

Woody, I wonder if I can

interest you in, um...

going out with us

for a few drinks?

Uh, no, any other night but,

you know, it's

It's actually 'date' night

for me and the wifeypoo.

You know, we're like newlyweds.

I mean, she's so...

Really?

...ravenous for me.

Wow.

Yeah, I mean, she's like

a jaguar on the hunt.

I can picture her now,

tearing at your flesh.

Yeah.

Whoa, whoa, a jaguar.

Honey?

Were you just hoping I

wouldn't see this?

I am so sorry, honey.

Three women? How, how does

that even happen?

Well, I mean, they they came

up to me outside of this bar...

and they er, they asked me...

if I wanted to take a walk

on the wild side.

A walk on the wild side?

Honey, I'm so sorry. I

was really, really drunk.

An apology followed by an

excuse is bullshit.

I'm not excusing, I'm

giving context, you know.

Well, you know, maybe I'll get

really, really drunk tonight...

and find myself three

hot, young Englishmen.

Honey, the children might

hear you.

F*** the children!

Oh!

Excuse me.

No, excuse me.

Are you okay?

No.

The, um...

( CLEARS THROAT )

the, er, prince is, is leaving.

Okay.

Woody... I do hope

everything's okay.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes