Life Stinks Page #5

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Why?

Because. man.

I could fIy free and easy...

and if I saw someone

I realIy didn't care for...

I'd drop a hot one on 'em.

When I die.

I want to be excremated...

and I want my ashes sprinkIed

in the old Briny.

At Ieast I'd be part of the sea

forever and ever.

Oh. that's beautiful. man.

Beautiful.

When I die. I want to go

just Like my daddy--boom...

peaceful. in his sIeep.

They told me my grandmother died

peacefulIy in her sIeep.

It's a good way to go.

Nobody dies peacefulIy

in their sIeep.

That's what they teII people

to make them feeI good.

You want to know how people

realIy die in their sIeep?

First. they go to bed.

Then about 2:
OO in the morning

they go...

Get a doctor.

I ain't never

goin' to sIeep again.

I have to make some money.

How can I make some money

down here?

Why don't you do

what they all do?

-What?

-Beg.

Beg. I tried that. but I'm not

realIy proficient in that yet.

Bye-bye. chiIdren. I Iove you.

Have a safe trip.

And remember. this is

a new start. No drinking!

And no drugs!

And above aII. no infideIity!

Shut up!

I didn't say that much.

Take it easy.

Can you beIieve that in

the middIe of all this fiIth...

two Lost souls could find

some smail shred of happiness?

Happiness? What a crock.

See you after the honeymoon.

Lady! You got a job.

you keep it!

Don't make my mistake.

You had a job?

A job?

I had a career.

I was a dancer.

and a good one...

before I gave it up

when I got married!

You were married?

Oh. you bet I was married.

I was married to Tom--

Tom Terrific.

Sure. Tom.

Anything you want. Tom.

You want it now. Tom?

Oh. sure. Tom. Go ahead. Tom.

What?

Finished aIready. Tom?

No. I don't mind. Tom.

Where you going. Tom?

You wash up. Tom.

I'll finish by myseIf. Tom!

Where did you go. Tom?

You didn't Ieave a note. Tom.

I'm all aIone here. Tom.

You Left me all the biIIs. Tom.

They're taking away the house.

Tom. I don't have a job. Tom!

I'm in a Iot of trouble.

So. after Tom ran out...

I realized I had to adjust

my entire IifestyIe.

I created this whoIe

new mentaI attitude.

It's called a nervous breakdown.

I cried a Iot. I screamed a Iot.

I was hystericaI

morning. noon. and night.

I was Like this--

HeIp me! Somebody heIp me!

Get the picture?

I got it. Yes. I got it.

I think the whoIe bIock got it.

So. I've been in this

nervous breakdown...

for about eight years.

And you know something?

I Like it.

I waIk when I want.

I sit down when I want...

I cry when I want.

I Iaugh when I want.

I pick my own hours.

Sounds a Little...

Crazy? There's nothing wrong

with crazy.

Crazy's good.

Crazy keeps them away.

So what's your story?

You ever been married?

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