Life Of Brian Page #2
Well, what Jesus fails to appreciate
is it's the meek who are the problem.
Yes, yes. Absolutely, Reg.
Yes, I see.
Oh, come on, Brian. They're gonna
stone him before we get there.
All right.
- That's disgusting.
It's the chap with a big nose's fault.
He started it all.
Oh, I hate wearing these beards.
Why aren't women allowed
to go to stonings, Mum?
It's written, that's why.
Beard, madame?
Oh, look, I haven't got time
to go to no stonings.
He's not well again.
- Stone, sir?
No, they got them up there,
lying around on the ground.
Oh, not like these, sir.
Look at this.
Feel the quality of that.
That's craftsmanship, sir.
Well, all right. We'll have two
with points and a big, flat one.
- Can I have a flat one, Mum?
- Shhh!
- Sorry. Dad.
- All right.
Two points, two flats
and a packet of gravel.
Packet of gravel. Should be
a good one this afternoon.
- Who?
- Local boy.
- Oh, good.
- Enjoy yourselves.
Matthias, son
of Deuteronomy of Gath?
- Do I say yes? Yes.
- Yes.
You have been found guilty
by the elders of the town...
of uttering
the name of our Lord.
- And so as a blasphemer...
you are to be stoned to death.
- Look, I'd had a lovely supper,
and all I said to my wife was,
"That piece of halibut
was good enough for Jehovah."
- Blasphemy! He said it again!
- Did you hear him?
Really!
Are there any women
here today?
Very well. By virtue
Ow! Lay off!
We haven't started yet!
Come on!
Who threw that?
Who threw that stone?
Come on.
She did! She did!
He did! He did!
Sorry. I thought
we'd started.
- Go to the back.
Always one, isn't there?
Now, where were we?
Look, I don't think it ought to be
blasphemy, just saying "Jehovah."
- You're only making it
worse for yourself.
Making it worse?
How could it be worse?
- Jehovah! Jehovah! Jehovah!
I'm warning you, if you say
"Jehovah" once more
Right.
Who threw that?
Come on.
Who threw that?
Him, him, him.
- Was it you?
- Yes.
- Right
- Well, you did say "Jehovah."
Stop! Will you stop that?
Stop it! Now, look!
No one is to stone anyone...
until I blow this whistle.
Do you understand? Even and I want
to make this absolutely clear
Even if they do say "Jehovah."
Good shot! Bravo!
- Have I got a big nose, Mum?
- Oh, stop thinking about sex.
- I wasn't!
morning, noon and night.
"Will the girls like this?
Will the girls like that?
Is it too big?
ls it too small?"
Here you are, mate.
- Bless you, sir.
- Alms for the poor.
- Alms for a leper.
- Alms for an exleper.
Bloody donkey owners.
All the same, ain't they?
Never have any change.
Oh, here's a touch.
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"Life Of Brian" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 4 May 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/life_of_brian_12553>.
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