Life Of Brian

Synopsis: The story of Brian of Nazareth, born on the same day as Jesus of Nazareth, who takes a different path in life that leads to the same conclusion. Brian joins a political resistance movement aiming to get the Romans out of Judea. Brian scores a victory of sorts when he manages to paint political slogans on an entire wall in the city of Jerusalem. The movement is not very effective but somehow Brian becomes a prophet and gathers his own following. His fate is sealed however and he lives a very short life.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Terry Jones
Production: Warner Bros. Pictures
Rotten Tomatoes:
94 min

- Who are you?

- We are three wise men.

- What?

- We are three wise men.

Well, what are you doing creeping around

a cow shed at 2:
00 in the morning?

That doesn't sound

very wise to me.

- We are astrologers.

- We have come from the east.

Is this some kind of joke?

We wish to praise the infant.

We must pay homage to him.

Homage? You're drunk!

It's disgusting!

Out the door! Out! Bashing me with

tales about Oriental fortunetellers.

- Come on, out!

- No, no. We must see him.

- Go and praise someone else's brat.

- We were led by a star.

Led by a bottle,

more like. Go on out.

We must see him.

We have brought presents.

- Out!

- Gold, frankincense, myrrh.

Well, why didn't you say?

He's over there.

Sorry the place

is a bit of a mess.

- Well, what is myrrh anyway?

- It is a valuable balm.

A balm? What are you giving him

a balm for? It might bite him.

- What?

- That's a dangerous animal.

- No, it isn't.

- Yes, it is.

- It's great big and

- No, it is an ointment.

Well, there is an animal

called a balm... or did I dream it?

So you're astrologers, are you?

Well, what is he, then?

- Hmm?

- What star sign is he?

- Well, Capricorn.

- Capricorn, eh? What are they like?

He is the Son of God,

our Messiah.

King of the Jews!

- That's Capricorn, is it?

- No, that's just him.

Oh, I was gonna say, otherwise

there would be a lot of them.

- By what name are you calling him?

- Uh, Brian.

We worship you, O Brian,

who are lord over us all.

Praise unto you, Brian, and

to the Lord, our Father. Amen.

- You do a lot of this, then?

- What?

- This praising.

- No, no, no, no.

Well, if you're

dropping by again, do pop in.

And thanks a lot for

the gold and frankincense.

But don't worry too much

about the myrrh next time, all right?

Thank you.


Well, weren't they nice?

Out of their bloody minds,

but still... Iook at that!

Here! Here!

That That's mine!

Hey, he's a baby! Oh!

- Shut up!


The babe they called Brian

He grew

Grew, grew and grew

Grew up to be

Grew up to be

A boy called Brian

A boy called Brian

He had arms and legs

And hands and feet

This boy

Whose name was Brian

And he grew

Grew, grew and grew

Grew up to be

Yes, he grew up to be

A teenager called Brian

A teenager called Brian

And his face became spotty

Yes, his face became spotty

And his voice

dropped down low

And things started to grow

On young Brian and show

He was certainly no

No girl named Brian

Not a girl named Brian

And he started to shave

And have one off the wrist

And want to see girls

And go out and get pissed

A man called Brian

This man called Brian

The man they called Brian

This man called


- Aah!

How blessed are those who know

that He's a god.

How blessed are the sorrowful.

They shall find consolation.

How blessed are those

of gentle spirit.

They shall have the earth

for their possession.

How blessed are those

who hunger and thirst...

to see right prevail.

They shall be satisfied.

How blessed are those

whose hearts are pure.

They shall see God.

- Speak up!

- Shhh. Quiet, Mum.

Well, I can't hear a thing.

Let's go to the stoning.

- Shhh!

- We can go to a stoning anytime.

- Oh, come on, Brian.

- Will you be quiet?

Don't pick your nose.

I wasn't picking my nose.

I was scratching.

You was picking it

while you was talking to that lady.

- I wasn't.

- Leave it alone. Give it a rest.

Do you mind?

I can't hear a word he's saying.

Don't you "do you mind" me!

I was talking to my husband.

Well, go and talk to him somewhere else.

I can't hear a bloody thing.

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Graham Chapman

Graham Arthur Chapman (8 January 1941 – 4 October 1989) was an English comedian, writer, actor, author and one of the six members of the surreal comedy group Monty Python. He played authority figures such as the Colonel and the lead role in two Python films, Holy Grail and Life of Brian. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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