Liberal Arts Page #2

when he was here,

he'd run out of the room crying.

That's probably true.

Well, what were you like

when you were here?

I was very handsome, wasn't I?

Am I remembering that correctly?

No, I don't remember that.

But what I do remember

is you being a real jerk

to your parents

on graduation weekend.

He didn't want to leave.

It's true.

And I blamed my parents,

weirdly, all four of them.

Like it was their fault

college was ending.

Don't do that to us.

- No, I won't.

- She says that now.

So your parents told me

you're in the improv group?

Yeah.

How's that?

It's the best.

I love it.

What do you love about it?

Um, I think I love

how terrifying it is

and how you have to say "yes"

to everything.

Uh, sorry, what does that mean?

It's, like, the only rule

of improv.

You can never say "no."

You have to say "yes"

and then add something.

Like, uh-like, look.

Um, okay, Mom, you and I

have been wandering

in the desert for days,

and we're about to die, okay?

Okay.

Okay, and I say,

"Hand me that lemonade."

So hand me that lemonade.

Jesus, Susan, hand her

the goddamn lemonade.

Never mind.

Jesse, hand me that lemonade.

Thank you.

Mmm.

Sweet, just the way I like it.

I nailed this.

It doesn't make sense.

We're in the desert.

I mean, where would we get

lemonade?

It's great seeing you guys.

So what was your major?

I was English

with a minor in history,

just to make sure

I was fully unemployable.

- Right.

- What about you?

Drama.

I mean, not officially yet,

'cause my dad's not totally

thrilled with the idea,

so maybe also art history?

I'm just happy you go to class

occasionally.

I thought maybe you just

improvised all day long.

Nope.

I mean, I do, I guess.

Have you ever thought

about that?

About what?

How everything in life

is basically improvised?

There's no script.

We're just making this up

as we go.

That's true.

So yeah.

Well, improv is deep, man.

- Well, we're about to head out.

- Oh.

- Pleasure to meet you, Jesse.

- Yeah, yeah, you too.

Take care.

Bye.

So I'll-

I'll see you around, I guess.

- Yeah, yeah, see you around.

- Okay.

It was nice to meet you.

Yeah, you too.

- See you later.

- Okay, bye.

Enjoy college.

You wearing a tie tonight?

Huh?

What can you say, really?

People get up and say

all this great stuff about you.

You know, I'm thinking,

"Who in the hell

are they talking about?"

It's just,

where does the time go?

This seems impossible.

37 years.

There comes a time

in a man's life

when it hurts to do the math.

You know, I worry

that I've been here so long

that I'll be lousy

being anyplace else.

Oh, well, I guess I'll find out

very shortly.

Um, hey, thanks for the chicken.

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