
Lesbian Vampire Killers
- Year:
- 2009
- 87 Views
[Man narrating] Centuries ago,
during the dawn of the red moon,
our peaceful hamlet
was terrorised by a beast...
... born not of man, but spewed forth
- from the fieriest pits of Hades...
- [women grunting]
... with an evil fuelled by
a hatred of men and a love of women.
Its name:
Carmilla, the vampire queen.No one could defeat her, save one man:
A baron away for decades
fighting in the Crusades.
Upon his return, the baron found
that Carmilla's desires
had ensnared his beautiful wife, Eva,
and turned her into a lover
of the vagine.
No!
Consumed with vengeance,
the baron pledged to destroy Carmilla
and flee the village.
He unearthed the sacred
Books of Nekros,
where he discovered
the only way of slaying
this unholy harpy, once and for all,
an ancient Babylonian hex...
...and infused with his own blood.
- [Groans]
[Man] Without fear,
he confronted Carmilla.
[Cries out]
But before the baron
Carmilla laid down a curse most vile.
As you strike me down,
within me into your daughters
and your daughters' daughters,
and they shall not rest
until your bloodline's ended.
They will know your breed
by these marks above your heart.
And when the life's blood
of the last of your line
mixes with that of a virgin girl,
I shall rise again, more powerful
than you will ever imagine.
[Man] And with that,
he lopped her fucking head off.
Henceforth,
every woman in our village,
upon her 18th birthday,
is turned by the curse
Our only salvation is a prophecy
that foretells of the day
when the last descendent
of the baron's bloodline
shall return to this hamlet and vanquish
Carmilla's curse forever.
That time... has begun.
- I'm not happy, Jimmy.
- Why? What did I do wrong?
Things are different now
to how they used to be.
I just don't love you anymore.
No, I love you.
- I'm just not in love with you.
- [Neighbours crying out in passion]
- You know I'll always love you.
- You say that every time you dump me.
I don't dump you, Jimmy.
I just take time out
to re-evaluate the parameters
of our relationship.
That's what makes us so strong together.
If we're that strong together,
why are you dumping me... again?
I'm not dumping you. I just think
we're stronger together apart.
That doesn't make
grammatical sense, so...
Feel it with your heart,
and know what I'm saying is true.
- So... you are dumping me?
- No.
But, also in a sense, yes.
- [Neighbour woman] Yes!
- Shit.
I'm not happy, Fletch.
[Fletch] I'm trying my best, Miss Rossi.
Your best just isn't good enough.
- What more do you want me to do?
- I don't know.
- This has to be the end of the line.
- What?
- What did I do wrong?
- You punched him in the face.
You know what I get like when people
mess with my shit. He had it coming.
He was seven.
You're a children's clown.
Old enough to know
not to go messing with my shit.
Fletch, you punched a child.
He was spraying me
with my own seltzer bottle.
- What was I supposed to do?
- Not hit him.
Then he shouldn't be spraying
my ball sac. It was only a tap.
- You gave him a bloody nose!
- I look like I pissed myself!
Christ, Fletch. I don't know
why you do these things.
I guess I just don't like kids.
I keep telling you,
they're a pre-requisite of the job.
I know. A slight problem.
Maybe I could just be
a clown for adults.
- You're fired.
- Do I get to keep the costume?
No. Drop your costume at the desk
on the way out. Goodbye, Fletch.
(0.00 / 0 votes)
Translation
Translate and read this script in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
"Lesbian Vampire Killers" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 3 Mar. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/lesbian_vampire_killers_12470>.