Lenny Page #2

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I guess when you get right down to it,

I'm just... basically...

a very shy person.

- Ho-ho.

- Don't you have to go to work?

Yes, I do, but I think I should stay here

and try to solve this problem

of extreme shyness.

Well, maybe I shouldn't be

telling you some of this, but...

Well, it was quite a week.

- Honey?

- Hmm?

Listen, someday I'd like you

to meet my mother.

- Did you stay together then?

- No, I had to go to Miami to work.

But, uh, Lenny called every day.

And... then one day he called

and said he was coming down

cos he couldn't stand to be without me.

We're all the same schmuck!

And it just cracks me up that we

try so desperately to be unique

when we're all the same cat -

Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson,

me, you, every cat has got that one

chick who really busted up his ass!

Wow!

I LOVE YOU:

THE GUY IN 505

Oh, he's here!

Just a minute.

There he stands in his underwear,

pleading like a dummy:

"Please, will you touch it once? You

never touch it any more. Just once. "

"When I don't feel like it?

When I got a headache?"

- "Yeah. "

- "When I don't get any pleasure from it?"

"Yeah, that's right. Cos I'm a dummy,

I gotta get it touched. "

"If I wait for you, you'd never touch it. "

"Oh, I touch it a lot. "

"No, you don't. You think you touch

it a lot. You used to touch it a lot. "

"Now it's a big favour

to get you to touch it. "

"It's gotta be like a big holiday,

like Armistice Day, right?"

"Well, all right. "

"If you're gonna make me feel guilty,

bring it over here, I'll touch it. "

"No, no, no, don't do me any favours!

I'll just touch it myself. "

That's it, man.

We're all the same schmuck.

Oh, my God.

Oh, man! Is that an album cover!

Why don't you come in,

big boy, and pick a few flowers?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

It's a shiksa goddess.

That's about the time

I came into the picture.

In what capacity?

What was your relationship?

Personal manager. Friend.

You know... the relationship

between a client and an agent

is a very delicate one. Very delicate.

You don't know how far to get involved

in their personal lives.

Lenny, you name it, she's done it.

I mean, the whole bit.

By the time she was 15,

she had already done time.

So you can just imagine.

Lenny, I'd like to be more

than just an agent to you.

I think you know how I feel.

I mean, otherwise I would never

be telling you these things.

What did you do, Artie?

Hire a private eye?

I didn't have to.

Well, I heard you two were hanging

around a lot together, you know.

It was none of my business,

but I just started asking

around about her and...

- I started hearing these things.

- I love you.

Well, there was this one guy

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