Laws of Attraction Page #3

for some inexplicable reason,

or you're flirting with me.

- Which is it?

- I'll give you hint.

You're getting warm

with the first one.

- What was the second one again?

- What are you doing here?

At least you could be

a bit more grateful.

Grateful for what?

Well, my old friend Lyman over there

needed a replacement.

He asked me if I knew

an interesting lawyer.

I happen to think

you're very interesting.

- You?

- Mmm.

- Please welcome our first panelist...

- I'm here because of you?

...Audrey Woods.

You're up.

So my advice to you is

divorce doesn't

have to be agony.

Look at it as a chance to examine

the complex emotional labyrinth

that is the human relationship.

- Well done, well done.

- Thanks, Ms. Woods, very enlightening.

- Like a nibble?

- You raise some interesting points.

No?

And now, let's hear

from Daniel Rafferty.

Mmm, that's me.

Any sno-bits?

Hi.

Thank you very much.

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.

Ah, wonderful speech,

Ms. Woods.

But, uh, this is

the way I see it.

Lawyers are scum.

Divorce lawyers though...

are the fungus

growing beneath the scum.

Divorce is the post mortem

of a dead marriage.

We represent people who have

suddenly discovered a passion

for a fight that they never

knew they had in them.

Where was that

passion and fight

when it was needed

to save the marriage?

Hmm?

Don't ask.

It's not our jobs.

Everyone loves gadgets.

And the way divorce

is going these days,

you're going to get

a chance to use them.

State-of-the-art stuff

for tracking the philandering husband

or the unfaithful wife.

For instance,

a camera this small

can take a picture...

this big.

Amazing, isn't it?

Don't you think

the clarity is wonderful?

I'm sure you people at the back can see

all the roses on our suspect's scarf.

No longer do we have to rely

on crude convenient store video.

With digital capability,

we can dispose

of 20 closed-circuit systems

and achieve optimum

picture quality.

Now I'm sure the person...

there didn't realize

that they were being

caught in the act.

Wouldn't you agree?

Remember, none of us

are in divorce law for love.

I think you like him.

Like him?

Are you crazy?

Sure, but I'm also

your mother...

when we're

not in public.

I know, it's a little painful,

but I can see results already.

I have the lower lids

of a teenager. Oh!

Okay, one that's been thrown through the

windshield, but a teenager nevertheless.

I didn't sleep a wink

because of that guy.

Don't worry, I'm going to catch him

with his guard down,

and then kick him

in the body part of my choosing.

Just be careful,

you've never lost a big case.

Well, neither has he.

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