Latter Days Page #4

Could be worse, could be raining.

That's 'Young Frankenstein'. Yeah.

So two years, huh? Yeah.

We're not allowed to call or go home in the holidays,

and they're not allowed to visit.

Wow, where do I sign up?

Hey, I happen to like my family.

After all, a boy's best

friend is his mother.

'Psycho'! That's 'Psycho', right?

She goes a bit mad sometimes..

We all go a bit mad sometimes.

At least you got your

friends here, right?

What, Ryder? No, we just got assigned

to each other a few weeks ago.

Oh. Well, better you than me.

Kind of a funny coincidence, all you guys

being named Elmer, huh? -Elmer?!

You think I'm an Elmer? -Well, you're not?

No, doofus! It's Elder. It's a title. Elder..

Oh, that's a good thing. Somebody naming you Elmer,

it's just mean. What's your first name, then?

We're not allowed to use them. What? Why not?

We're not allowed to do a lot of things.

It's Aaron.

Aaron. I like that.

You're gonna sort through those, right?

Colours and whites don't mix, Aaron. OK, thanks.

Oh wait, you've never done your laundry before either, have you?

Well, maybe I've just never done everybody's.

That's what I have to do, 'cos I'm

a greeny. The new guy, you know.

So I have to do everyone's laundry,

in accordance with prophecy.

Really? Psyche'!

Dude, you're way too easy. That's what I've heard.

Well, thanks for the laundry tips.

Geez, Elder.

You're a thousand miles away over here

How you doing, Green? Good.

Yeah, you sure? Yeah.

You know, when I was a Green, it was really tough.

I used to pray that I would die during the night

so I wouldn't have to wake up to another day of this.

You're joking me, right?

I couldn't take going back to the family, you know,

Salt Lake and all. I had two of the general authorities

at my missionary farewell. You know what's that like,

your dad is a state president, right?

They set this thing up to be difficult, OK?

We can't listen to music, we can't watch movies,

we're never supposed to be alone.

I mean, what, we're 19, 20 years old,

and we're not even allowed to beat off.

Some nights I wake up and I find teeth marks

on my head board.

Look, I put my time in here so that I can go home,

so I could marry Jennifer, so that I can finally nail her.

See? It's amazing what we'll do for sex.

I know you did! I did not, I promise you.

Yes you did! I cross my heart. Oh, that means something.

Hey, we'd like to play here.

Yeah, we're playing here.

You're just farting around.

How vivid. We're playing, see?

Bounce the ball, bounce the ball.

No, you're just jerking us around.

There's one afternoon a week

where I can just be normal

and play some hoop, and you have

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