When I first came to Los Angeles,
it looked like just this mass of dots.
All jumbled and disconnected.
It was pretty disorienting.
What the f*ck are you doing? I'm straight.
That is so how all guys say that
No, I'm serious, dude.
Oh really? It's too bad. 'Cos I'm amazing.
I don't like to brag, but I can suck the engine block
to the tail pipe of the '58 Chevy.
Yeah, talking 'bout the big ones with the 380s.
Oh. So you know cars, yeah?
Hell! You can have one during.
And you'll never have to call me.
Till you're up for another round, that is.
Elizabeth? My roommate is Julie.
I'm here for a date with Elizabeth.
Elizabeth is 243D, as in 'down the walk'.
This is 243B. As in 'Blowjob'.
You're not StraightCurious from AOL?
Oh, shut up! You're so lying to me.
A-a! Check the journal! Look.
September 20th. Oh my God! That is so funny!
it wouldn't have something to do with you.
Hey, J. Martinis, vodka or gin?
and I doubt you've met.
I mean the base player. We were just
supposed to lay down some tracks
but the second song it
was like my bra had grown hands.
Excuse me, wannabees, order up.
One callback, she's Margo Channing
You ever read for Barry Wolf?
Hey, why are we skipping on the fries? Come on, load me up.
Barry Wolf read me once for this commercial,
They don't call him the 'Wolf who cried Boy' for nothing.
You know, he wouldn't even see me for that
crappy TV 'Wacky Gay Neighbour' thing?
What's that about? I'm gay, I'm wacky
Maybe you're not neighbourly.
F*ck you. I'm Donna Reed on a stick
Excuse me, darlings. I hate to interrupt this important
discussion between all you big stars...
Point well taken.
In the meantime, I hear that Disney's opening a Fantasia
Until then, what to do. Hot stuff, coming through.
You take one of my tracks and give
Also two-for-one margaritas?
I'll be there.
Enjoy your meal.
Quit gawking, we don't have all day.
Au, f*ck. Yeah, f*ck you too.
Mum? Julie. Where the hell are you?
I'm here. Isn't this where you called
me, where did we end up last night?
I don't know, but I woke up without
my bra. That's never a good sign.
So, why are you calling me and not just tiptoeing
across the hall with sympathy and Excedrin?
Hey, hold up a minute.
We've met. Um, no, I'm brand new here.
All unpacked...final bell, Harmon is down.
Hey Gilford why don't you come
over here and give me a back rub?
Wrong tree. Barking. Think I'm
rubbing your pimply back, you homo.
David? Come on, Green, help a guy,
allright? Have stuff to put away.
Come on, Gil, just like ten
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