Last Vegas Page #3

the best bachelor party

in the history of mankind,

and then on Sunday

your child-bride flies in and, uh...

- Voila.

- Are you serious?

- Yeah.

- Yeah, man.

Billy, it is 4:
15 in the afternoon,

and I'm at a dinner party.

If I don't get out of here soon,

I'm gonna swallow all of

Abe Rosenbaum's pills at once.

- What about you, Arch?

- My son won't let me go.

I can't smoke, drink, eat salt,

or stay out past 9:00, but...

- Archie's in.

- All right, all right! No, I love this.

- This is great, man. Huh?

- We're invincible, baby.

- Flatbush Four, we ride again.

- Uh, the Flatbush Four, yes.

Yeah, so, uh, who's gonna call

Captain Sunshine?

- Billy.

- Uh, look, guys...

I know he hates me now,

but he's got to be there.

You know it, I know it, so, uh,

do me a favor.

You guys figure it out, all right?

- I got to go now, I'm hanging up.

- Uh, wait, wait, Billy, Billy.

All right, I'll lie to my son,

you tell your wife.

Okay.

So your rental car confirmation

is in your bag.

And when you get to New York,

just follow the directions

to Archie's house.

- Ah, good.

- You getting excited?

Oh, yeah, sure.

Yeah.

Bachelor party in Vegas

with a bunch of old fogies. I...

- Oh, come on.

- You're angry at me,

- you don't want me to go. I'll stay.

- No, I'm not angry.

No, don't. Just, uh...

Don't open it

until you get to Las Vegas.

- What is it?

- No, honey, just leave it until you...

Okay, or now,

if you want to open it now.

"What happens in Vegas

stays in Vegas"?

A condom and a Viagra?

- Where did you get a condom?

- That's your reaction?

I'm at the pharmacy 30 times a day,

I can get a condom.

Sweetheart, you're unhappy.

It's like the light has gone out

of your eyes.

And the Florida jokes,

they're... They're getting tired.

And I... I want my guy back.

Heh, so I... I thought,

if... If you...

I don't want to know what you do.

Don't tell me about it,

and we will never bring it up again.

You...? Is this some kind of trick?

What...?

- I'm afraid to get out of the car.

- Get out of the car.

- Are you...?

- Get out of the car.

Okay, love you.

Love you.

Ezra!

- I thought you left for work.

- I had to make some phone calls.

- Are you gonna get out of bed?

- No.

Cold. Pfft. Cold.

Pop, it... It's, uh,

sweltering in here.

- Is it?

- Yeah.

Listen, maybe I should,

um, stay home today.

No. You...

You don't have to do that.

Thing is, uh...

...last night...

...I peed myself.

Oh, Pop, I'm sorry.

It's just one of those things

a man has to deal with, alone.

Okay, all right.

Ah-ta-ta-ta.

Open the damn trunk, Sam.

Wait, it's a rental!

I don't know where the thing is!

Hang on, hang on!

There it is.

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