Labor Pains Page #4

No way. You're staying

right here and going to UCLA.

Tennis will cover the tuition and I'm

busting my ass off to cover the rest.

I know. You keep telling me when Mom

and Dad died, we lost out on options.

Just do me a favor, be a grown-up and

accept the hand that you've been dealt.

So that's

what you do?

Yeah, that's

what I do.

Really? 'Cause you were at a bar

instead of my parent teacher conference.

Oh, hello, Mr. Abbott.

Jerry? Jerry,

where are you?

Mr. Abbott,

can I help you?

Is there anything

to drink in this place

or do I have to go to my

car and get my divining rod?

I could get you

some water.

Go ahead, soldier. Three

parts scotch, one part water.

Okay. Move, move,

move. Hey, soldier.

What brings

you to the office?

How are you? Well, your

brother wants my book.

Jerry's at lunch. But Thea can

take your manuscript for you

Who's Thea?

Jerry's secretary. You

talk to her every day.

Congratulations are probably in order.

Thea has good news. She's having a baby

Hm.

She looks like

she's strong stock.

Maybe she can give us

a strong future Marine.

Thea, do you

have a minute?

So, uh, how are you?

Fine, thanks. You?

Oh, I'm fine. But I'm not the one with a

magical bundle of joy growing inside of me.

So, no morning sickness?

No bloating?

No. Nuh-unh. Guess

I'm just really lucky.

A little too lucky,

if you ask me.

Yeah.

And uh, where

is your ring?

Well, we...

Her fiance is saving

up for her ring.

It's not very nice to

try to embarrass people.

So why don't you get back to lying

about yourself on your dating websites?

Don't worry about him. He doesn't

know anything. He's an idiot.

And I'm sure Greg

is still a virgin.

Come on, Jerry.

Oh! Alright, Jerry.

Oh! Watch it!

Dumbass.

Come on, Nick.

Come on Nick,

you can do it.

Hit it!

Ow!

Ball. Take your base.

Take your base!

Come on, Thea.

Come on, Thea!

Let's go, Thea!

Go, go. Home run.

Come on, come on.

Go, go.

Get home, get home.

Come on, come on.

Safe!

Are you okay?

Yeah. I'm great.

Come on, Colonel.

You can do it.

You got it!

Great.

Thea.

Kristen. Come

here, please now.

You shouldn't be playing

in your condition.

What condition?

Your baby.

Lisa, get your

ass out on base?

Of course.

We are taking you

out. For the season.

All season.

Come on!

Hey, thanks

for the RBI.

Yeah, well,

no more RBIs.

Jerry says I'm a liability, so

I can't play 'cause I'm pregnant.

Sounds like the most reasonable

opinion he's had in years.

Oh!

Yes!

MacArthur?

Good heavens.

Oh, it's okay. I'm

coming for you, baby.

I need a copy

of Abbott's manuscript.

I'm gonna read it in the car

on the way to his funeral.

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