L.A. Story Page #6

What is a spokesmodel?

- Just a model

who speaks, and she

points at things like merchandise,

like a car or washer and dryer,

or a book or fine art prints.

They have classes for that?

- It's harder than it looks.

I'll be your robber today.

- How are you? - How long is class?

About three hours.

- What made you want to do that?

Well, I always like pointing.

So, why won't you sleep with me?

- With my ex-husband?

It happens all the time.

It might be just like it was.

- That would be terrible.

Come on, we're a perfect match.

- Because our mothers hunt together?

For God's sake,

your mother shot my mother!

Someone fell, it was an accident.

You're the only normal one,

and you're barely hanging on.

Remember when your mom found out

whose dog was crapping in front of

your house and she put their name

on paper in the center of the pile?

These are not things grown-ups do!

I'm the only sane thing in your life.

Yes, possibly.

- I want you back.

I'll cook and sew for you.

Just give me one weekend.

We can see how it is.

Will you come?

I went roller skating once

at the Brooklyn Rollerdome.

It was awful.

I was completely out of control.

I went slamming into this 8-foot tall

black guy in a green satin jump suit.

I said, "I'm sorry, could you

help me?" And he looked at me

with stoned eyes and said: "Let your

mind go and your body will follow."

Well, how was that?

It was very nice, thanks.

I hope I wasn't too young in my

thinking for you. - What? - Joke.

I don't pressure you, do I?

- No. I don't pressure you, do I?

No, there shouldn't be any.

- Tell me if I do.

Ok, and you tell me if I do.

You ever had a high colonic?

Pardon me?

- A high colonic.

You mean an enema?

- Yeah.

Is this a joke?

They're great. They purify you.

They do it in a place in Santa Monica.

They're great.

Is this where you live?

- Yeah, here.

It's really groovy.

Well...

Good night.

Good night.

Take me off that speakerphone!

- Relax.

It's just a modern day device.

- I have to see you.

You were out last night?

- Yeah.

There was no shower?

- I didn't go at the last minute.

Having sex with my agent. I told you

a thousand... - How did you know?

I was right? I was right?

I was making a bad joke.

My agent, Frank?

And this is how I find out?

You tell me?

- We just decided I should tell you.

I thought he only took ten percent.

- We were here.

Then...

- After he made love to you, what?

We went to the Hard Rock Cafe.

What time?

I don't know... 11:00 or 11:30.

I felt I had to tell you

in case anyone saw us there.

It was a dumb thing to do.

How long has this gone on?

Three years.

- Three years! - I'm sorry.

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