Kuffs Page #5

and learn how to make decisions on my own

if I have a chaperone like Ted around?

Who gives a sh*t?

Oh.

Well, I can't afford him.

I went through the books last night.

My brother was living month to month.

I'm almost broke here.

No. I went through the books too.

You are broke.

A lot of people dropped the service

when you took over.

You got a week and a half,

two weeks tops. Then you're gone.

You're history, and no lawyer

in the world can help you.

Ted is here to keep you out

of trouble while you're among us.

You must have messed up

pretty bad to deserve me, huh, Ted?

Look, kid.

I'm a cop, okay?

Personally, I think you patrol

specials are door-rattling jokes.

Now, we can talk,

we can tell each other lies,

we might even become friends.

But in the next two weeks, if you do

anything that makes me look bad,

I'll break you in half, okay?

You get laid much, Ted?

What do you mean?

What do I mean?

Uh, Ted, before we go,

I gotta run to the "toidey. "

I'll meet you back here.

You...

"Toidey"?

Well, I'm sure Ted is the victim

of an unhappy childhood,

and, some day, some psychiatrist

could release the caring human...

...that's struggling to get out.

But right now,

I don't have the time.

Could you please tell me where

the Narcotics Division is?

Thank you.

All right, all right, Doug.

I'll be honest with you.

Ever since my brother passed away,

I'm having a bit of trouble sleeping.

Mm-hmm.

Doug said half of one of these

would make you sleep...

like you had a tit

in your mouth for eight hours.

I don't know.

Ted's a pretty big guy, isn't he?

Should I? Yeah, sure.

Better to be safe.

Stir it up.

Oop.

I'm real sorry about what I said.

I got you a cup of coffee.

Next time,

sh*t before you sign in.

Sh*t! Sign in!

In the car!

Am I gonna be tested on this later?

Maybe.

You're not drinking your coffee.

I don't like hot coffee.

I like cold coffee.

Turn right at the next street.

You have some customers

at the end of the block.

That's the guy

that shot my brother.

Stop! Stop!

Look out!

Turn! Turn!

Turn! Turn!

- Stop the car!

- We're gonna lose him!

Are you crazy?

Stop the car!

Are you Trying to kill me?

What are you so angry about?

I wanted to follow the guy.

Did you see a crime being committed?

Did you see a

Crime being committed?

If we follow him, we will

see a crime being committed.

You are a Patrol special.

You don't go looking for a crime!

If you see a Crime being committed,

then you take action.

Otherwise, your job

is to service those people...

who are stupid enough

to hire you to protect them.

And if I'm gonna get killed

on this job, it's gonna be by a bullet,

not by a bus!

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