Kramer vs. Kramer Page #5

Sound-effect:
the doorbell rings.

A moment later Ted opens the door and THELMA PHILLIPS

enters. She is a neighbor (Apt. 6-B) and Joanna

Kramer's best friend. About four months ago Thelma

and her husband Charley were divorced. Until then the

two families had been very close, the Kramer's son

(Billy) being about the same age as the Phillips'

daughter (Kim). With the divorce, however, the Kramers

tried to remain friends with both Thelma and Charley

and that has caused a certain amount of friction.

Thelma is an attractive woman in her mid-thirties. She

dresses well, works out religiously at Jack LaLanne's

and goes to a therapist twice a week. She is also given

to acting the lay analyst with her friends. Thelma is

generous with her advice, sharing the wealth so to speak.

With all of this she is kind, loyal and a loving friend.

At the moment, however, she is all business.

THELMA:

(looking around,

suspiciously)

All right. What's going on?

ON TED--From his attitude it is clear that there is no

love lost between them.

TED:

All right, Thelma, you want to

know what's going on? I'll tell

you what's going on. I'll tell

you exactly what's going on.

THELMA:

Look, Ted, all I--

TED:

(starting to

really roll)

I came home tonight. We just got

the Fire and Ice account at the

agency. Do you know what that

means?! Do you understand

what that means? It means that

it was maybe one of the five

best days in my whole life.

THELMA:

Ted, all I wanted to know was

where--

TED:

(not letting her get

a word in edgewise)

I walk in the house and before

I can say "How are you?", "Did

you have a nice day?" before I

can say anything. Pow she's

out the door.

THELMA:

OhmyGod. Didn't she say anything?

She must've said something.

TED:

(sarcastic)

Yeah, she said it wasn't any

use talking anymore.

THELMA:

Ted, don't be so hostile.

Ted draws himself upright with the dignity of the

Ambassador to the Court of St. James. However, during

the following, he begins pounding the pillows on the

couch into shape with real vehemence.

TED:

Hostile?

(pow)

Me?

(whack)

Thelma, I'm not hostile.

(thud)

I am anything but hostile.

(sock)

But if you want to know what

I am. I'll tell you what I am.

What I am is, I am hurt. I am very

hurt. And I just want to know

one thing, okay? Just one thing

...Why? That's all I want to

know...Why?

THELMA:

(how to say this)

Ted, Joanna and I used to talk a

lot and...well, she told me a lot

of...ah, things about the two of

you.

TED:

(instantly nervous)

Things? What kind of things?

THELMA:

(clearly she knows

more than she's

willing to say)

I mean...things. Ted, Joanna's

very unhappy and--

TED:

(flash of anger)

Listen, Joanna Kramer's got a

goddamn good life. She's got a

husband that loves her. She's

got a terrific kid. She's got

a wonderful home--

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