Kobiela na plazy

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The Office of Entertainment Programs

presents a film

Kobiela on the Beach

starring Bogumil Kobiela,

TV and film actor

Script

Andrzej Kondratiuk

Dialogs

Bogumil Kobiela

Camera Boguslaw Lambach

with Jerzy Fronk

Sound Karol Lewicki

Assistant Jerzy Sobczak

Production manager

Jerzy Bida

Director

Andrzej Kondratiuk

This film was shot with the

help of the candid camera.

The sound was recorded by the

button-sized microphone.

Microphone was hidden as well.

Thanks to all who unknowingly

participated in our film

Hello!

I am here, in the booth

My name is Bogumil Kobiela

I am a TV and film actor.

I'll go out in a moment.

- Good afternoon!

- How do you do, sir.

Good afternoon

Thats nothing!

I'll go to them, to the beach.

We'll see what impression

will I make.

It's all good.

I reckon that one must

always keep fit, that's it.

Well, it is about keeping your

body in a good shape.

What should I do? Just lie on

sand for hours?

I must tell you, sir, it is

even little bit shameful.

One needs to train

body a little.

It seems to me that you,

ladies and gentlemen,

are laughing at me.

But this is good that

you laugh at me,

because I've done this

for you to laugh!

So when I'll

laugh at you in my turn

Well, not so much at you, but

at all of us here on the beach,

I want you not to

have any issues with that!

Is it a deal? Good!

Thank you!

And please, laugh at me

as much as you want to.

- Sorry, what was that?

- [not distinct] ... swimming suit

Well, no, mister. I have

my own ... Well,

thank you very much and let's make

a deal that we will laugh at each other

without any offence taken!

Is it a deal?

Good afternoon!

Do you have

a swimmer's license?

If you teach a child you

must have it. Could you please...

- Is it on the shore? Sure?

- Yes, yes.

- Sure? So I don't have to worry?

- You don't have to worry, no.

Thank you very much

- May I see your swimmer's license

please? - But I don't swim!

But you are wading. How should I know if

you don't go any deeper?

No... Sir, up to where

is this, what's its name...

Limit? Up to here. But everyone

who is in the water

should have...

- Even if I am up to my knees?

Well, naturally.

There is no guarantee that you

don't go any deeper!

What if you get a cramp?

Ladies and gentlemen, your

swimmer's licenses please.

We stay here,

we don't go far.

- So you don't have them at all?

- We don't have them on us.

- But in general? Do you have them?

- Yes. - So they're with your stuff?

Ok, I believe you. Everything

is all right. Thank you.

Swimmers' licenses

control.

- May I see your license please?

- I don't have one.

I am allowed to swim

in here.

How far do you go?

- How far? Well, just up till there.

- All right.

Yous swimmer licenses, please.

- Licenses? - Licenses. What language

do you speak, Madame?

Parlez vous francais?

Alors, avez vous de cartes de swim?

- No? No.

- Vous n'avez pas...

Speak you English? Yes,

you speak a little.

From where are you? Very

simphatic.

- Argentina.

- Argentina? So you speak Spanish, yes?

- Yes. - And English?

- I also speak English.

- Yes. You swim? - Yes, I swim.

- Very good?

- Can you show me a little?

- Yes. - Please, do it.

- Oh, you have... C'est ne pas bon,

parce que... - C'est ne pas bon

I am more suntanned than you, miss.

Oh here, young lady. Just a moment!

I wanted to see who is more tanned.

Mister, please,

who is more

Well, I guess it is probably

you, sir.

- Well, how is water today?

- Perfect!

Kobiela on the beach

What are you looking for?

See! There's a lot of them here!

- This is mine.

- Ok.

Good afternoon! How's the bite?

I have been waiting here. Sir,

could you give me 3 kg of ...

It seems to me that using a net

is not fair.

It is not fair, one has to give

sea creatures

some chance.

- What chance are you talking about?

Well, with a rod there's this unmediated

contact of a human being and a fish

and there is a struggle,

a fish has a chance.

While with a net you just catch it

like that...

You mean it's barbaric?

But it goes in this net by itself.

Yes, but this isn't the chance I'm

talking about, when there's unmediated

contact of a human being with

a sea creature!

Oh, by the way, do you have

a kilo of flounder to sell?

We're separated here from the fish...

Maybe you can sell me something?

Oh, good! Thank you!

I will take this one in the

meantime.

This is a beautiful one!

Can I buy it from you, sir?

Well, sir, I fish for pleasure,

as a hobby.

But this one is a really big one,

as for this beach

Last year I caught one that was

this big.

That was the biggest one, and

this one is the second biggest

that I've ever caught.

Here, just a moment ago.

Over there. A little bit further,

see those people? They come

close here, the big flounders.

Well, you know, sir, this is more of

a sport,

unmediated contact of

a human being and a fish.

This is not like fishing with a net,

when a fish stands no chance!

- Sir, where did you catch it? - Dear

ladies! There, where those people are,

I just went a little bit deeper.

One needs a bit of patience

and luck

and here we have it, right?

Kids, what's the deal? Haven't

you seen a fish before?

Sure, sure. It must have an influence,

on hygiene, for instance.

Dear sir, you know,

the notion of beauty in Ancient Greece,

the Olympic Games and all that...

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