Knights of Badassdom Page #5

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a 27th level sorcerer.

Which you are not yet.

What's up, Joe?

Needst I remindst thou

the Temple of Syrinx awaits.

Don't be a buzzkill, Ronnie.

Ah.

Come, Gunther.

Buzzkill

What?

Buzzkill

How you doing there, Captain Trips?

Verily.

There be a fungus among us.

Is it your fungus

that's f***ing with me?

'Cause if you did slip me some

'shrooms, why's it feel like

I got bent over and taken

advantage of back there?

Perhaps thine reach exceeds

thy grasp, "vizard".

So who are our comrades, Enchanter?

Right.

That be Lando, the pious.

Watch him in battle...

Complete weasel,

but entertaining.

You'll see.

Sir Gunther, the mighty.

Head case with a big stick.

He is unique and crazy.

And...

And Guinevere the fearless,

who's plus-three ass perfection

should keep the memory

of She Who Shall Not

Be Mentioned at bay.

Plus-three?

Clearly you underestimate

my endowments.

Look, your party has

disturbed a nest!

Demon apes!

What the f***?

Play on!

One of the beasts deals Sir Hung

the Glutinous a stunning blow!

Haha!

Great way to spend the weekend.

Sweating my balls off

in a monkey outfit.

I don't know where the hell I am.

Wha...

Who's there?

Hello, apelings?

- Dude... Joe! Little help here.

- Huh?

Help us kill some freaking apes!

You here for the LARP?

The live, the LARP?

Do you maybe have a map?

Oh, wow.

'Cause I, um... I sort

of lost my way.

Got separated from the group.

Oh... kay.

Jobryeth!

Gonna... kill... your...

monkey... asses!

Jobryeth takes a lethal

strike to the back!

Huh?

- Bullshit... 'Tis a lie!

- Halt!

Game master saw a palpable

hit and an unconscious man

throwing weaponry... weaponry

that is beyond the expertise

of your lowly character.

I don't understand what you

said, but I'm gonna sit down.

Three, two, one, play on!

Got separated from my group.

You too?

Uh, well, maybe then we should

stick together and both look.

Oh.

Oh, wait a minute, wait a

minute, wait a minute.

If this is some sort of Fury

fetish, then I don't mind at all!

Oh wow!

Oh wow!

Oh, okay, sure.

From the ground,

thy wounds be bound.

Regeneration spell successful!

Still thy tongue lest I remove it!

Lightning bolt!

Lightning bolt!

You my b*tch... Ow!

Same side, same side!

Be gone, demon apes!

Oh sh*t.

Damn.

Lando has been dealt

a mortal blow.

'Tis a lie... I had a spell

of simian protection up.

Fine, kill the brown guy first.

The great ape has been vanquished!

Huzzah!

Yeah.

Now remember, before

convening at the battle,

this party has a quest to

loot the temple of Syrinx

which needeth completion, so...

Perhaps the party should split

up for to cover more ground.

Capital idea, Sir Lando.

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