Knife Fight Page #5

And how about

if someone told you

that he was in a state

of semiconsciousness

because of all the pain,

and that's why he didn't realize

how bad it might look,

him being in there with her?

If my husband

said something like that,

not only would I think

that he's a cheating jerk

but that he can't make up

a halfway decent lie.

Okay, they were my people.

And if I told you

that because of a war injury,

sometimes he takes

strong pain medication,

which makes him drowsy,

and that's why this happened?

Well, that's 10% better,

but 90% pure lame-o.

Come on.

Really.

[Laughter]

They love you

when you're talking

about smaller class sizes

but not so much

when you're trying to explain

away a quickie with Tawny.

I am such an idiot.

You are anything but.

You got caught up

in some nasty sh*t.

We're gonna figure out a way

to get you out of it.

How's she gonna spill it?

She's got some kind of

in at Fox.

This a**hole they brought in

to run KXSF, Roger Fillmore,

he's practically

smacking his lips on this one,

not to mention his riding-high

Tea Party pals.

This is their wet dream.

So what are they waiting for?

She's teed it up but hasn't

given the deliverables.

This is straight-up pay to play.

And even if we do pay,

Roger is still probably

gonna run with it.

Okay, look,

we're gonna figure out a way

to inoculate you against this,

and we're gonna dig up the sh*t

on this girl.

What do you think

is the best room service?

Carl Ludwig

at KCOP loves us.

Or Maggie Darcy?

I have two words for you:

Peaches O'Dell.

[Door bells jingle]

[Muzak playing]

- Hey.

- Hey.

Can I buy you another coffee?

No, thanks.

I got enough

to last me all night,

which, at the rate you're

dumping your garbage on me,

is where I'm gonna be again.

You did a great job

with that Tawny mug shot.

- She's a ho.

- She's a ho with a story.

Yeah, well, like all of us.

How much it cost you?

Nothing.

I did a little thing

for an Interpol guy

running a button cam video

on a dot-com gazillionaire.

- A thing?

- A thing.

You don't want to know.

Trust me.

And I got you a little present.

This wouldn't have

anything to do

with health-related issues,

would it?

Try everything.

Your buddy in Kentucky,

the ex-left fielder for

the Baltimore Orioles, no less...

Guess what?

He's mortal.

- I'm heartbroken.

- Yeah, me too.

Who would have thunk it?

Mr. "I used to play

in the big leagues

while you were a p*ssy

in the Peace Corps,"

arrogant prick f***.

- And this is solid?

- Platinum.

Actually seen

or talked about?

What do you take me for?

As our friend the Gipper

always said,

"Doveryai, no proveryai."

Trust but verify.

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