Knife Fight Page #4

for you, for your family?

Do you have a family?

I'm a single mom.

I have a six-year-old son.

- What about the kid's dad?

- Irrelevant.

Not if you're gonna do this.

Nothing will be irrelevant.

Despite this being

the bluest state in the country,

it still knocked down

gay marriage

and the legalization of pot.

Over half of the people

in the state

self-identify as born-agains

or regular church-goers,

not exactly the profile

of someone

who's gonna be voting for you.

This is a blood sport, okay?

I have worked for men

who were shot at in Vietnam,

and the campaign literally

broke them down to tears.

A man I loved...

who America loved,

with the Navy Cross

and two Purple Hearts,

sat crying

on my living room couch

because of what the press said

about him and his family.

You're too good a person

for this.

Look.

To win in politics,

you have got to be the person

who is willing to bring a gun

to a knife fight.

Is this your usual pep talk?

No.

Well, that's good, I guess.

No, this one's

for friends and family.

Usually it's worse.

Hmm.

[Chuckles]

She wants to be governor.

Oh, man.

I liked her.

She was cool and sharp,

and it seemed

like she really wanted it.

Well, I want to play shortstop

for the Giants,

but it's not gonna happen

in this lifetime.

Okay.

Jimmy, you want to start us off?

This is our friend

Tawny Shearson,

courtesy of YouTube

at her massage school

graduation picnic.

So she is an actual masseuse?

This is not a set-up?

Licensed

and with six years' experience.

Oh, that sucks.

But with other experience too.

She had the misfortune

of being arrested twice

for prostitution.

The first time,

she pleaded guilty

and was sentenced to probation.

The other time,

charges were dropped.

Okay, so we're not dealing

with the Virgin Mary here.

Exactly.

And you, sir,

are a war hero

who served your country

in the freezing mountains

of Afghanistan

while she was selling her p*ssy

at the Beverly Hills hotel.

So if it becomes her word

against yours,

you should be okay.

That's the good news.

Okay, tell me the bad news.

She's a pro,

and you're on her massage table

in your boxers.

That's our bogey.

Do we know

what she's asking for?

- $2 million.

- Oh, forget that.

Jimmy, could you bring up

the next thing?

Okay, we just

threw this together,

probably a little early,

but we had to know.

You want to know why

you're up seven points?

This is why.

Soccer moms, 35 to 45.

These are your people.

No way would I believe him.

And if she had

a shady past

and was a known and proven liar?

I don't know.

Someone who looks like that?

He's still a guy.

Guys do what they're gonna do.

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