Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Page #5

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Hardest thing I ever did.

Do you remember

when we were real little...

...and a movie crew came to town?

That mystery flick with the guy,

Johnny what's-his-name?

- Gossamer.

- Johnny Gossamer. Right.

Your mom went nuts,

and she bought all the books and stuff.

- That was- God, that was forever ago.

- Yeah, that was back in the day.

Harry...

...I didn't get famous.

Yet.

I did...

...get to do this one commercial.

You're shitting me. Which one?

Well, you know the one with the bear?

And it goes- Well, this is funny.

- "I prefer Genaros, but-"

- "But I'm a bear, what do I know?

I suck heads off fish. " That was you?

- Oh, my God.

- Yeah, it was. Yeah.

- That's awesome.

- Commercial.

Come on, that's a big deal.

- That's a national commercial.

- Harry, stop.

It's nothing. There was actually this

kind of cool moment where I got...

...to sort of do the wave.

"I prefer Genaros. "

- Whatever, it's nothing.

- It's pretty cool.

- It's nothing special at all.

- Well, I think it's special.

Punk-rock Steven Seagal

thinks it's special.

Right there, at your 11 o'clock.

That's dead-on, right?

That's all right.

I had him pegged when I came in.

Come back to the hotel for a little while,

just have one drink. Bring your friend.

It'd just be a drink. You'll be home faster

than you can say "Jack Robinson. "

I don't know about that. I can say...

- ... "Jack Robinson" pretty fast.

- I'm timing you.

Jack Robinson.

- Do you have any idea what time it is?

- I'm really sorry.

God, you still look great.

You're just stunning. I like-

- Why are you here?

- Good question.

Sounds crazy, but I don't remember

what occurred...

...between the hours of 2 and 5,

a blur.

- Really? Where's Marleah?

- Marleah?

- The girl you....

- Marleah fell asleep at my place...

...and I didn't see you leave-

I left when you had your tongue

down her throat.

- I did?

- Yeah.

God. No, wrong throat, wrong woman.

That's bad.

Yeah, that's bad.

You got 10 seconds, Harry.

Oh, boy, pressure, pressure.

I came here...

...because I think

you're intelligent and attractive-

That's plenty. Stop. Oh, my God!

I can't believe you'd come here...

...to tell me you like me

after you f***ed my friend!

That's just it, I didn't.

I believe that I did not.

What? You said you don't remember!

If I don't remember because I was drunk,

how could I have gotten it up?

I know this is outrageous

and not normal.

I'm not pretending that I'm normal.

I just chickened out-

Moron. Why? Why? Why?

And the plots, they all have this thing,

this formula that was so cool.

Seriously, I would go through one

in a day.

- A whole book in one day. Wow.

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