Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Page #4

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What are you drinking?

- Bad.

- Bad? Sorry?

- You feel bad.

- Bad?

"Badly" is an adverb. To say you

feel badly says that the mechanism...

- ...which allows you to feel is broken.

- Well, that one over there?

Between- Oh, God, nix, nix. That's-

- The blond. The blond's pathetic.

- Because?

For starters, she's been f***ed

more times than she's had hot meals.

I heard. It was neck and neck,

and then she skipped lunch.

- Worst thing, though....

- Do tell.

Worst thing is she's 35 years old

and still trying to act.

I see her at auditions all the time.

- It's over, baby. You missed.

- That's charitable of you.

May I ask how old you are?

- Go for it.

- Okay, how old are you?

- Thirty-four.

- Yeah?

- I'm a baby.

- Where's your buddy? The guy you-

- The guy you left the party with?

- He's a f***ing a**hole.

I just needed a ride.

Sorry, I swear a lot.

- I know. It's okay.

- Did you know the host?

- No.

- He looked familiar, though.

Probably an actor.

Go away, Mr. Fly.

- I was talking to your friend.

- She doesn't want to talk to you.

Sunshine, she'll be back to you

in a minute. Relax.

She doesn't have a minute.

Tell you what, if you change your mind

about that drink...

...I'll be over there

with Native American Joe Pesci.

- You are so....

- That was good, right?

Why are you humoring him? Stop it.

You know what,

there's an empty table over there.

I hear it's a recommended

cheeseball hangout.

Your mouth is a recommended place

to put a sock.

Princess. Scary friend.

Goddamn it.

Harry Lockhart, are you gonna

recognize me or what?

God! Embrey, Indiana!

Loves snakes, afraid of spiders.

Come on, remember?

You were Amazing Harry-

- No, no, no. Harold the Great.

- Harmony?

You cut me in half, remember?

Oh, sh*t. Oh, my God. How are you?

Okay, I was a bad narrator again...

...because the kid at the beginning,

the magician, that was me.

I don't want to put this on you...

...but if you've been paying attention,

I shouldn't have to-

Great. No wonder. Ma and Pa Kettle.

I got an idea.

Why not put these two lame-o extras

in front of the mammoth f***ing lens?

Boo. Scat. Fat lady, leave.

See there? "Harold. "

Remember how I said

this high school chick haunted me?

How seeing Harmony made me

think of her?

That's because it was her.

It all came flooding back.

How I was the one she confided in.

While she was doing every other guy.

It was the first time I felt

that how pitying someone...

...and wanting to f*** them

can get all tangled up in your head.

Overwhelming sadness.

Meanwhile, you got a Rodney.

Is that sick? I think-

Yeah, I think that's sick.

Leaving my sister back home,

leaving her there all alone....

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