King of Hearts Page #3

on the double!

Message from Plumpick, sir.

It's high time too.

"Difficulties:
wrong town,

inhabitants odd...

encountered single bear

and two lions...

but unable

to make contact mackerel."

Gentlemen, I'm sure there's no real

reason to be needlessly alarmed...

but it would appear that the outcome

of this whole campaign...

is now in the hands

of a stark, raving lunatic!

Private Pumpernickel

has gone crackers!

Captain, will you find

three volunteers now?

- Men.

- Sir!

- I want you to leave immediately.

- Sir!

Stop! Come back here!

Where the devil

do you think you're going?

No idea, sir!

Look here. Here!

Come and find out.

- You're going after Pumpernickel!

- Sir!

Stop!

To disarm that blockhouse!

Pumpernickel.

Isn't that a German name?

A polka, Hyacinth!

Look... someone's here.

Got a light?

Buy me a drink?

What a big spender!

Want to know my name?

That's no answer!

My name is Hyacinth.

Shall I dress as a housewife,

a mummy or a nun?

You look fine this way.

Listen...sit down...

and don't move.

- Are you a whore?

- Yes!

- And I'm your customer?

- Yes!

Good. We understand each other.

Do you know what war is?

Surrounding the town...

there in the hills...

are people who want

to hurt you.

Go tell them I'm harmless.

It wouldn't work.

The town may blow up

any minute now...

I might not even get to finish

this sentence!

What a shame.

You have a nice voice.

Listen, that's just a pipe dream.

I'll tell you my secret.

I live in the moment.

- That's all that counts.

- You're right, but...

I'm not the girl for you, that's all.

I'll getyou someone else.

Girls!

Daffodil or Rosie,

Forget-me-not or Poppy.

The choice is yours.

Or maybe not.

There's no mistaking a look like that.

Unspoiled and beautiful.

I'm Poppy. And you?

Charles.

- Blush! Men go for that.

- Do I frighten him?

Sure. Men seem tough,

but they're soft as asparagus tips.

Teeny babies at heart.

- Come on... come in.

- Staying with us?

To teach you a thing or two about

the birds and the bees.

You don't know where to start?

Neither do I.

This is the bedroom.

The bed. The lamp. The switch.

I suggest starting in the dark,

then turn the light on.

Look at the object

of your desire carefully.

Turn the light off again. Love is

played like checkers, black and white.

- Will he get naked?

- Yes. Don't be nasty.

There's liquor to drink.

I've drawn the curtains.

I feel like I've always known you.

What would you like?

To lose my memory.

It's easy.

- What are you doing?

- Keyhole-peeping. Shut the door.

The King of Hearts!

What are you doing here, sir?

Love has brought

the King back to us!

All aboard, your Majesty.

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