Killer Movie Page #4

mile and a half down this road.

They're summer homes, mostly.

We tried to find

three together,

but no such luck.

Well, the second door

on the right's

your bedroom.

You're sharing

this place with Lee,

our executive producer.

Did you--did you

just see that?

I think I just

saw a guy

Standing out there

with a mask.

Dude, you've been up what,

like, 20 hours?

We're in the boonies, bro.

Oh, by the way.

Lee wants to meet you

in an hour at the local diner

for a production meeting.

Uh, okay.

Um, so it's just

me and Lee here?

Is he here

right now?

Yeah, uh, she,

and no.

She's actually sleeping at one

of the other crew cabins,

but we're not supposed

to know about that.

We could talk

about that later.

Got map and directions.

And keys.

Peace out, brother.

Bongo, what did I just

get us into?

I--I can't.

You're gonna have

to speak up.

I can't hear you.

Hello?

Sit.

Oh, piece of crap.

You must be Jake.

I'm Phoebe, Lee's assistant.

We're totally

excited you're here.

Jake, I'm Lee Tyson,

the show's producer.

Thank you

for getting here so quick.

Yeah, no problem.

Hey, it's too bad your

last show got canceled.

But their loss is our gain.

Am I right?

And you get

your very own

celebrity P.A.

Blanca Champion, ooh--

God bless her.

She has got

some beautiful tits.

Yeah, mm-hmm.

No, I'm sure she'll be, um,

flattered you think so.

Hey, Phoebe,

do me a favor.

Will you go call

the equipment house,

see where the rest

of our stuff is?

Sure, I'll be

right back.

Okay, look.

Here's the deal.

These people think

that we are here

to shoot a reality show

about their loser

hockey team making good.

But some girl kills herself

joyriding at night,

probably drunk

on moonshine or something.

Hey, hi.

More coffee, maybe?

Someday?

Closest Starbucks

is, like, 80 miles away.

I don't get it.

It's ridiculous.

Thank you!

Anyway,

Everyone is all bent

out of shape about this,

Except coach Carhartt,

who only cares

About winning

the championship.

Now, did I mention

the ex-coach, Hansen,

He's a flippin' loon

who just got out of prison

For accidentally killing

his wife ten years ago.

Carhartt's son

was banging Hansen's daughter.

Hansen's daughter

ends up dead.

It's f***ing gold.

Wow, yeah,

um, that's--

that's a lot

of information.

Uh, you know, Lee,

I kind of, uh, liked

the whole underdog

hockey team angle.

I'm not really such a fan

of messing with people's heads.

And I am telling you

that I want you to go

to that high school

and shoot me a f***ing show

about these crazy coaches

and their

beer-guzzling buddies.

Got it?

Um, I take my job

pretty seriously,

and i try to do good work

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