Kill Your Friends Page #4

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She's like... What do you call a...

it's a... A moose.

- Moose.

- F***ing moose!

But don't worry.

We'll find someone to front it.

It's catchy, Rudi, it's just...

- It's the lyrics, right?

- Yeah, exactly, Rudi.

Why are you so British, so square, man?

What's wrong?

We did a radio edit of the whole thing...

...and we changed it and the chorus now is like..

What does she say? She says like...

Why don't you slap me on the ass?

Why don't you slap me on the ass?

- And it works, man.

- That's much better.

Listen, what do you think

I'm offering it to you.

- First hand for the UK.

- Yeah.

And all I need is 30,000 in advance

- and...

- 15.

15 points.

So what do you reckon?

What do I reckon?

I reckon that tune is the biggest

insult to humanity

since a room full of Nazis chuckled

over the blueprints for Auschwitz.

It's utter garbage.

But this is exactly what 99% of

the great British public enjoy,

the f***ing animals.

Well, that crazed paedo has as good a track

record as anyone for this kind of crap,

and stranger things have happened, mate.

Is that a yes, then?

What, a 30K advance,

the same again for a video,

I'd have to do some remixes,

artwork, advertising.

I mean, it'll cost us something like a hundred

grand to try and have a hit with that piece of sh*t.

This is what's involved

every time you say yes, Darren.

Signing records can literally cost

you your f***ing job.

So we say no?

Maybe.

Christ, look, Virgin.

88.9% share of the singles market.

F***ing Spice Girls.

Rage.

How you doing? Good to see you.

- Fisher.

- How you doing? You all right?

- Hi.

- Hi.

So, Cannes, eh?

Great stuff.

- Rage, how's tricks?

- Yeah, boys.

We ain't gonna do this tour.

- What? But you...

- We're finishing the record.

I ain't dismantling the studio

to start some f***ing rehearsals.

Well, let's hire the stuff for the tour.

Look, do you believe in this guy long term?

Yes.

Of course.

Then this ain't the only tour

we're gonna do, then, is it?

It's an investment.

How much?

- 60 grand.

- Jesus.

The tour support budget's high enough as it is.

I don't think we can justify that sort of...

Well, I guess we're pulling out of the tour, then.

- 30 grand.

- 50.

40, recuperable.

Fair enough.

This pair of sex offenders

have just raped us for 40 grand.

At some point we'll see a Fantasy Island invoice

with bogus receipts stapled to it

for money they never spent

on gear they do not own.

So, how's the record sounding?

Schneider, mate,

it's gonna blow your tits off.

We'll have a playback soon.

It's f***ing out there, man.

Experimental as f***.

Experimental?

Experimental?

I think it's a smart way to go.

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