
Kid Cannabis
(0.00 / 0 votes)Beautiful. Isn't it?
- But listen.
- You hear it?
I hear it in my nightmares.
That's the sound of the feds,
Working their unmanned drones,
spending more money trying to shut us down
Than they did searching
for Osama Bin Laden.
42 billion spent
in the war on pot.
140 bucks from every one of you
To fight a little green herb made
by god that grows in the sun.
And god doesn't make mistakes.
Go! Go go go!
I would have personally
paid 18 million in taxes
made from the medicine I sold.
But they never asked,
so I never offered.
I never got the bill,
so I didn't pay.
Here's the skinny.
I was a spongy kid from the
wrong side of the lake.
A high school dropout.
The lost cause.
The invisible kid
whose name you forget
Before I even finish saying it.
But I ran a disciplined,
$68 million a year business
And employed hundreds of Wal-Mart-Shopping,
Exxon-Buying Americans.
And we'd still be
up and running,
Trying to cope with the demand,
if murder and mayhem
Hadn't entered the picture.
But hey,
You can't put the toothpaste
back in the tube, can you?
Topher moved to Idaho
from Boston when he was 15.
He took a lot of sh*t for his Boston
accent and for being full of sh*t.
But he's had my back ever since he
beat down Billy "the bull" Turrow,
Who used to give me a daily thumping
for as long as I can remember.
We had one big thing
in common. Pot.
looking for more, better, cheaper.
You know the deal.
almost as much as I did,
And that is saying a lot.
You can't believe half the sh*t
that comes out of his mouth,
But Topher had game. He'd get me to do
things I would have never done on my own.
He was my best fro.
What's up, motherfuckers?
Is this a party?
If I could erase one guy from this story,
He lost the plot years ago. Went to sleep
on the dirt floor of a Korean orphanage,
Woke up in a mansion
in Coeur d'Alene lake
With a silver spoon up his ass.
But no good deed
goes unpunished.
He paid his adopted
daddy warbucks back
By becoming the biggest, baddest,
loudest drug dealer in town.
Dealt his overpriced weed to
the frat pack at Gonzaga prep.
got the sticks and seeds.
People talk about him being an honors
student, perfect S.A.T. Scores.
But he did some of the
stupidest sh*t I'd ever seen.
should have been listening.
Do you think people
will know what I am?
Who cares? The chicks
will have to ask, right?
Foot in the door,
dick in the whore.
Just let me do the talking.
I'll get us in.
All right.
Nate? Is that you?
Hey, Ashli with an "I."
It's me. How are you?
I'm great.
What are you?
I'm...
He's the floor of a movie theater.
Yeah. Yeah.
Funny.
Cute.
What are you?
I'm a leaf blower.
Get it?
Creative.
Original.
What are you?
French maid.
Yeah, never seen that before.
What are you supposed to be?
A cat.
Girl scout.
Do you have any cookies?
Not for you.
Okay, cool.
F*** off. Let's go.
Sweet push-Up bra.
I hate those b*tches.
F***ing skanks.
Go ahead, compliments
of Brendan butler.
Here you go.
No. Hold on. Hold up.
I'm cool with Wang.
Uh, Brendan butler, sir.
Yeah, Brendan.
Hold up.
Really?
What?
Wang?
Who the f*** thinks
they can call me Wang?
Huh? Who the f*** thinks
they can call me Wang?
These two f***ing clowns.
I'm a friend of, uh, Daniel Cox.
This isn't Daniel Cox's
f***ing party.
Yeah. He told us about it.
It's all good, right? Just...
Told you about it?
Got some bud.
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"Kid Cannabis" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Web. 30 Jan. 2023. <https://www.scripts.com/script/kid_cannabis_11729>.
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