Kevin Hart: Seriously Funny Page #3

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With that being said,

I don't get as mad

as I used to.

With that being said,

I don't get as mad

as I used to.

I'm calming down.

My daughter cursed for

the first time the other day.

I didn't get mad.

We was watching "SpongeBob."

Something happened

to Patrick.

Out of nowhere she got mad.

She's like, "sh*t!"

I said, "wait, what?

What did you say?"

She's like, "sh*t!

They got Patrick, dad.

You not watching?"

I said, "whoa.

All right."

Here's why I didn't

get an attitude.

I'm gonna tell you why

I didn't get an attitude.

I didn't give her

attitude because I remember

my first time cussing.

My first time cussing

was 'cause my mom smacked me

in front of company.

My first time cussing

was 'cause my mom smacked me

in front of company.

My friends

was over my house.

I'm downstairs.

We're playing,

we're having a good time.

My mom comes downstairs,

she said, "hey.

I told you to keep it down.

You don't run this house,

I do, okay?

With that being said,

that's it.

You're done.

Go to bed."

Smacked me.

Sent me up to my room.

Now you know

when you get smacked

when you're a kid

you get hyped

when you get by yourself.

"You gonna smack me, b*tch?

( shrieking )

In front of my friends?

You gonna smack me?!"

I was emotional.

I was an emotional-ass kid.

I was emotional.

I was an emotional-ass kid.

"I'm running away!

That's it!"

I packed a bag

and everything.

You know how many times

I packed a bag with a toy?

I packed a bag

with one toy.

"I'm out.

I'm sick of it.

Me and He-Man are out."

My mom gave me permission

to cuss one time.

One time she gave me

permission to cuss.

I'm in school,

I'm being bad.

My teacher got mad.

Said, "Kevin, come here."

Told me to come to

the front of the class.

Wrote a note,

stapled the note

to my chest.

Said, "make sure your mother

reads the note."

I get home,

my mom reads the note.

The note said, "maybe if

you showed your son

some more attention

at home, he wouldn't act

like a fool in school."

My mom read the note.

She said, "let me tell

you something.

You tell her

mind her damn business

before I come down there

and I beat her ass."

before I come down there

and I beat her ass."

I said, "okay. You want me

to say it like that?

Or do you want me

to take some stuff out?"

"What I say?

Tell her mind

her damn business

before I come down there

and I beat her ass."

I said, "no,

I heard what you said.

I just want to make sure

that you know that

you're telling me to say

the same thing."

"Kevin, if I tell you

again I'm gonna smack

the sh*t out of you."

"Okay. No, I got it.

Okay, I got it.

Okay, I got it.

No, I got it.

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