Kevin Bridges: The Story So Far - Live in Glasgow Page #3

"You're smelling good, chico. "

"Is that Lynx Africa?"

Bomp-chica-wha-wha!

I'm 23, still live at home.

Don't know if any of the

young guys at the front,

- any of you still

live at home? Yeah!

Young guys at the front, a

guy up in block D said yes.

Twenty-three, you live at home, you don't

need to pay rent and stuff like that,

but you pay mental

rent, don't you?

I've always had a good

relationship with my parents.

Especially my dad.

You know, when you're

seven, eight, nine years old,

as a young guy, traditionally,

your dad is your hero, isn't he?

Your role model.

He knows everything.

You want to follow in the guy's

footsteps. You want to emulate the guy.

Then you get to about 12 years old,

you realise your dad's an arsehole.

It's a perfectly natural stage in adolescence,

discovering that your dad's a bit of a knob.

It's just what happens.

Normally happens

on Christmas Day.

And involves building something.

I'd be sitting there working patiently

away, using the instruction manual.

My dad would come in. See,

my dad is of the old school

where the use of an instruction manual is

viewed as an admission of homosexuality.

"That can get to f***."

"Where's the claw hammer?"

And once you've realised

your dad's an arsehole,

you can kind of use

it to your advantage.

I realised my dad was

an arsehole in 1998.

Right. In 1998 you

never had Sky Plus.

Or Sky HD. It was just Sky.

And you had, I'd

say three options.

You could get it via a

satellite dish, via a cable,

or you knew a guy that

could get you a box.

You know, one of them guys that can

get you a hold of anything for 40 quid?

He can get you a

Nissan Micra, 40 quid.

He can get you a set

of golf clubs, 40 quid.

An iPod nano, 40 quid.

Fifty quid in cash, 40 quid.

Everybody's met a dodgy

bastard, right? 40 quid.

The satellite dish, that was

like in a working-class option.

Satellite dish. You

want a satellite dish.

You want your neighbours

to know you've got Sky TV.

If you're paying L25 a month,

you want your neighbours knowing

that you're better than them.

Now, we had Sky through

a satellite dish, 1998.

You could be watching Sky TV...

I don't know if anybody

remembers old-school Sky.

You could be watching Sky TV

in the living-room television,

but you could also go

upstairs to the bedroom TVs

and watch Sky, but only what

the person in the living room...

only what they were watching.

I don't know the intrinsic technical

explanation as to why that happened,

but it just did.

Saturday nights, me and my dad

watching Match of the Day.

And it gets to the

kind of shite games.

And I say, "Right, I think

I'm going to go to bed, Dad.

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