Keeping Up with the Joneses Page #4

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-Here you go.

-There it is.

Wow, good job-- Buddy, buddy.

Yeah, buddy. Wow!

-That is a lot of blood.

-It's fine. It's okay.

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

It's just gushing a bit.

-Just hold on to that.

-Yes.

Give me this.

-It's sprung a leak.

-Just...

-I feel a little bit light-headed.

-Close your hand around it.

-If I could just maybe--

-No!

You can't rattle me.

Witness... Witness my destiny.

Neighborhood champ,

five years in a row!

Hey! You wanna give it a try?

-Me?

-Yeah!

No,

-I'll only embarrass myself.

-"No" is not an answer.

Come on. It's so easy.

-It's a bad idea.

-Look,

I'll even show you

the famous Craverston grip, okay?

-All right.

-Put that in your hand.

Now hold it like a pencil.

Now cock your wrist.

-Right.

-Good, good. Elbow out.

And then you just kinda throw at it.

Like this?

This is good?

Well, you kinda throw like a girl.

But when a girl is as beautiful as you

she doesn't have to be good.

Do you mind if I skip

the Craverston grip?

Okay, good luck.

Oh, my God! Look at that!

Maybe I should show you

how to throw like a girl.

Suck on that, Craverston.

Shut up, Oren.

Where's your girlfriend?

Tim.

Hey, Karen.

I was just looking for the bathroom.

You were in Jeff's den.

Yeah. I must've made a wrong turn.

Lovely place you have here,

by the way. You have a great eye.

Thank you.

Was that your design work

I saw downstairs?

Jeff had mentioned something

about urinals.

Yes. Well,

the customer's always right.

But, yeah, they are my drawings.

Customer's always right.

Except when they're not.

-The bathroom's that way, Tim.

-No, thank you, I'm fine.

That was one of

the best Junetoberfests

we have ever, ever had.

Have you ever seen a couple

move into a neighborhood

so nicely as the Joneses?

You don't you think there's

something off about them?

I mean, they're so overly

accomplished, and stylish

and affectionate with one another.

Why would they wanna live here?

Karen, they told you,

they wanna settle down.

You know that he was

in your den today?

Yeah, so?

So, he can navigate

the bazaars of Marrakesh,

but he gets "lost upstairs"

looking for a bathroom?

Karen, let me tell you something

I learned years ago.

When people have to poop,

they get embarrassed.

As do I, sometimes.

Really? You think he had to poop?

Probably, yes.

You know, if the Joneses seem a little

bit more affectionate than we do,

it's because they haven't had to mute

their passions the way we have

'cause the kids have been around.

But now, it's our time.

It's our summer. Watch my hand there.

And I think it's time

to get busy sexually.

No. It tickles, honey. Honey!

-Honey, I know we said every second...

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