Johnny English Page #3

Synopsis: Rowan plays the eponymous lead character in a spoof spy thriller. During the course of the story we follow our hero as he attempts to single-handedly save the country from falling into the hands of a despot.
Director(s): Peter Howitt
Production: Universal Pictures
  6 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.2
Metacritic:
51
Rotten Tomatoes:
33%
PG
Year:
2003
87 min
$27,972,410
Website
7,234 Views


- [Guests Gasp]

- You don't frighten me!

- [Glass Shatters]

- Missed!

[Guests Gasping]

[Grunting Continues]

[Karate Yells]

[Body Falls]

- [Guests Gasping]

- I've managed to subdue the assailant.

The panic's over.

Everything's under control.

- [Applause]

- [Chevenix Groans]

Thank you. And now,

ladies and gentlemen,

we should compose ourselves

for the arrival of Her Majesty...

and return to the site

of our great nation's...

magnificently restored

Crown Jewels.

[All Gasping]

I know. I feel it too.

The very symbols

of our island nation,

so close we could almost

reach out and--

- ## [Trumpet Fanfare]

- Pray silence for Her Majesty the Queen.

[Queen]

Oh, where are the jewels?

[Pegasus]

It's an unmitigated disaster, English.

I couldn't agree more, sir.

Well, we need to get these

jewels back, English, and fast.

Tell me about this assailant. When they

searched the room, there was no sign of him.

Well, the man was clearly

a professional.

He must have escaped while

the queen was being sedated.

But he's the only lead we've got.

We have to find him.

Come in. This is--

This is Roger from Data Support.

Please sit down. He'll produce

a likeness based on your description.

So tell us,

what did this man look like?

Um... well...

he was... big.

- Hair colour?

- Um... orange.

- Orange?

- Mmm. And curly.

Well, frizzy, actually.

Frizzy sort of thing.

- Frizzy.

- An eyepatch.

Broken nose.

Very few teeth.

Two, I would say,

at the most.

And a scar on his cheek...

in the shape... of a banana.

- Which cheek?

- Both cheeks.

They sort of met in the middle.

Are you sure about this, English?

[Gasps] Oh, yes, that's him.

An uncanny resemblance.

Why, it's just as if

he's in the room with us.

[Horn Honking, Tyres Screeching]

Wow! Look at this, sir.

Got all the bells and whistles.

Never mind about the gadgets.

Just focus on the case.

[Horn Honks]

[Engine Revs]

Oh, uh--

Good morning, gentlemen.

Thank you very much for waiting.

Now, the question that faces us

this morning is a simple one.

Namely, how did the thieves gain access

to this highly secure environment...

and then escape

with the jewels afterwards?

A simple question, but one

which I believe has a complex answer.

- Actually, sir--

- Uh, please, Bough. My mind is at work.

Now, what you must grasp, gentlemen,

is that the master criminal...

sees not a room

but a series of opportunities.

Should I go in

through the window?

Possibly.

- Should I drop down from the ceiling?

- Actually, sir--

There's one thing I think

we can be fairly confident about,

that is that they didn't

come up through the floor--

I've got you, sir.

That's all right.

Rate this script:2.8 / 8 votes

Neal Purvis

All Neal Purvis scripts | Neal Purvis Scripts

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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