
Johnny English
[Dogs Barking]
[Toys Squeaking]
[Dogs Whimpering]
[Guns Cocking]
Ah, the Heckler & Koch G-36.
Quite deadly in the right hands.
Ah, Agent One.
I have been so looking
forward to this moment.
Well, in that case,
I'll try not to disappoint.
You overestimate your power
over women, Mr English.
I'd say that would be
virtually impossible.
Sir? Sir?
- Sir! Have you got them?
- [Gasps]
- Hmm?
- The mission documents. Agent One's flying tonight.
Yes, the mission documents.
They're here somewhere. Ah, here we are.
Agent One.
Gentlemen.
I'm here for my documents.
Bough, Agent One's
documents, please.
- [Clears Throat]
- Thank you.
Your mission documents,
Agent One.
Including the codes for the submarine
hatch, which I've checked myself.
Thank you.
So, is it just France tonight, or will you
be slipping over the Pyrenees as well?
If I told you that,
I'm afraid I'd have to kill you.
Oh.
[Nervous Chuckle]
[Muttering] Oh, yes, yes.
Well, I expect you would.
Cheerio, Agent One.
Bonne chance.
Arrivederci.
Such class.
Such distinction.
[Bell Tolling] To: MI7 All Depts. Urgent!
Agent One killed in action in Biarritz.
Submarine hatch failed to open.
The greatest secret agent England's
ever had snuffed out in an instant.
Terrible.
Do you know what makes us envied
the world over, Bough?
- That there's always another agent waiting to step in.
- Absolutely, sir.
And every last one of them
is gathered around that grave.
It is our honour and privilege
to guard them while they grieve.
Their lives are in our hands, Bough.
[Tyres Screeching]
Everything in order, English?
I think you'll find it's rather
more than just in order, sir.
You're now entering the most secure
location in the whole of England.
[Cow Mooing]
[Man] Pegasus,
we face a national crisis.
Agent One was clearly onto something,
and we have to find out what.
Who else is there?
No one, Prime Minister.
They all died in the explosion.
All of them?
one who survived.
Who?
# One eye on the shadows #
# Protecting his fellows #
- # From sunup till the moon on his back #
- [Grunting]
- # Sendin' villains to Hades a hit with the ladies #
- Johnny English.
# A stallion in the sack #
- # You can't get your life back when right follows left, Jack #
- [Groaning]
# The more you see
the less you know #
# Plays God
when it's your time to go #
# Hey, fellas
Don't be jealous #
# When they made him
# So charismatic
with an automatic #
# Never prematurely
shooting his load #
Hah!
# Queen and country
safe and sound #
# With villains
six feet underground #
# And no one knows 'cause
# Of a man for all seasons #
# Loves 'em
# So alone #
# And you and I wouldn't have a clue
who's doin' what, why, when and who #
# Up a creek with no canoe
Watch out #
# For the man
for all seasons #
# Loves 'em
# So alone #
- # But safe at home #
- # But safe at home #
- # Oh, yeah, yeah #
- # But safe at home #
# But safe at home
But safe at home #
# Then you and I wouldn't have a clue
who's doin' what, why, when and who #
# Up a creek with no canoe
Watch out #
# For the man
for all seasons #
alone, so alone #
# But safe at home ##
Right.
Johnny English.
I'm here to see Pegasus.
Still, no sense rushing things.
There are some items you need
to sign before your briefing.
This is your new retinal I.D. card,
(2.75 / 8 votes)
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Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
"Johnny English" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 9 Mar. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/johnny_english_11364>.