Johnny Dangerously Page #3

---

I love Johnny.

Johnny, can I follow in your footsteps?

Sure, kid.

Here, it was burning a hole in my pocket.

Look, Rosie, it's Johnny Dangerously.

Mrs. Zimmer.

Everybody, over here.

Now what did I tell all you people?

Around here you're Johnny Kelly,

a law-abiding night club owner...

...not the notorious gangster

Johnny Dangerously.

Sure, and Im the pope.

- Hey, pope. How'd you know?

- Johnny, everybody knows...

...except your mother and your brother.

And nobody here is gonna say nothing.

Thanks, Your Holiness. Tell you what,

build yourself a new gym at the Vatican.

Bless you, Johnny.

Johnny!

Hi, Ma.

How's my best girl?

You gotta watch that left, Ma.

I love him, but some day

Im gonna knock him on his ass.

- What are you cooking, Ma?

- Beer.

With noodles? What a great idea.

- What's new?

- Me arthritis, that's new.

One of the muscles in me calf

is shriveling up.

Also, Im losing sensation in me face.

I think it's a neurological disorder.

- But the rest of me is in the pink.

- You gotta take better care of yourself.

I don't want you living like this

and doing other people's laundry.

What are you saying,

give up me career?

Maybe you ought to retire.

Enjoy the golden years, Ma...

...not do this.

Son, I couldn't consider retiring.

Not so long as I can still

give good laundry.

- Where's Tommy?

- Don't be talking to me about Tommy.

- Why not?

- Because Im leaving law school.

- If this is a joke, I ain't laughing.

- I'm dropping out and marrying Sally.

- You can't change my mind.

- Is this what you want, Sally?

I want whatever Tommy wants.

I'm his girl, and he makes the decisions.

Sally's place is in the home,

and I intend to support her.

I'll shine boots, drive a hack,

blow glass, anything.

- Johnny, please, talk sense to him.

- You're breaking your mother's heart.

- Why, Tommy? Why?

- I can't say it in front of Mom.

Okay. I've got a little business

to take care of.

Why don't you meet me

at my place at 10:00?

All right, you little muskrat.

- I'll see you, Sally.

Bye.

Ma, don't worry about a thing.

I'll straighten everything out.

Hey, Ma, what's this in your ear? $100?

- What can't you say in front of Mom?

- Nothing, Mom.

I know what you can't say.

You wanna get laid.

- Mom!

- You wanna hump your brains out.

Ba-boom, ba-boom, ba-boom, ba-boom.

Hi, Pat.

- Top of the morning. How's your mother?

Much better, Pat. Thanks for asking.

- Such a wonderful woman.

- Yes, she is. A sweet little lady.

She's got the smile of an angel.

Johnny is here!

Johnny!

Johnny!

Johnny!

You wanna be my first?

No, it's my turn.

- I'm not wearing a bra.

- That makes two of us.

- I'm a real blond, Johnny.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes