Jez Jerzy Page #2

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All we need is some needles,

some blood

and a smear from

the inner side of his cheek. That's it.

Once you've collected it,

You have to eliminate the hedgehog.

He'll get such an ass kicking

that he'll be sorry to live.

I think we've misunderstood ourselves.

You have to kill him.

- What do you mean, kill him?

- Just like that, until he's dead.

It's just a hedgehog after all.

Beer, flowers, Beer, flowers,

Beer, flowers, f***.

Buying anything or you gonna

keep on prayin' like this?

Just a sec. I'm wondering what gift

to buy for my girlfriend.

With that money

you can afford three roses and a brew.

And if she's less of a classy lady then

buy one rose and a quarter of vodka.

Of course we want a brew.

Two brew in fact. And one rose.

Thief!

Beat the skinheads!

Zenek! Now! Give him a nibble!

Are you guys out of your damn minds?

I'll have to go to the vet now.

- I've got the blood.

- And I've got the spikes.

We rocked.

Years of work.

Years of sacrifices.

At last!

People used to laugh

at me and my research...

No, it wasn't easy but we managed.

He yelped like a dog.

At the end I gave him such a Glasgow

kiss that all his needles fell off.

- Was there a lot of blood?

- Like in a butcher's house.

And what have you done

with the body?

It worked, gentlemen!

This is the most incredible

experiment of my life!

Once I met aliens from outer space.

And for me, that was the most...

Daddy?

- How the f*** did he just get here?

- The sh*t has hit the fan.

Stefan, do something.

"George calling"

Yola! Long time no see.

How's things? When can we meet?

What will the opponent do?

In ten minutes outside

the building, ok?

Kris, darling,

I'm popping out!

What? Oh, yeah, yeah.

Ladies and gentlemen!

Phenomenal move on the horse!

- Damn! Check mate.

- I can see the coach running to him.

They are so happy!

They've waited for that

for so many years.

This is not George, you idiots!

It's a clone!

- Do you know what a clone is?

- Aftershave.

Clone-my-ass. Looks like a hedgehog

so it will get its ass kicked

- like a hedgehog.

- It's a hen that lays golden eggs.

It's a metaphor, of course

not like the ones at your

family's place in the countryside

The hedgehog has a potential

- That you wouldn't even dream of,

morons. - Oh yeah? I have potential too.

- Why don't you clone me?

- Very funny.

We've collected lots of data.

The calculations took months.

Finally, the computer produced:

A hedgehog.

If he's so damn cool

why did you tell us to whack him?

He had one key defect,

we couldn't control him.

The clone is a different story.

The clone, if it's steered

in the right direction

Can become the biggest

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