Jerry Before Seinfeld Page #7

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a rollercoaster in the South Bronx...

which would be the first rollercoaster

where people scream

on the flat part of the ride."

[laughter]

And that was my second joke

that I ever thought of.

[cheering and applause]

So I had the left bit, I had the tramway.

I was rolling.

And I lived in a little apartment

on the West Side,

and it was very small.

It was just 15-feet square.

[laughter]

That is not a joke. You know

that New York apartments are like that.

And I brought my little bed from my room

to sleep on.

That was all I had. I didn't care.

I-I wasn't planning on really

getting anywhere doing this, by the way.

I just loved it and I wanted to do it.

And so I lived in that apartment.

Since I couldn't afford to fix it

or anything, I would paint it a lot.

Every time I painted it, I thought,

"Well, gee,

now it's a little bit smaller."

And I realize it's just the thickness

of the paint, but it is coming in.

It's coming in.

[laughter]

Eventually, someone's going

to come to visit me, open the door,

there's just going to be

a white block with an eye.

[laughter]

They will go, "Wow! That guy

painted that place a little too much."

And uh...

So, no money.

We performed here for free, by the way.

Absolutely free.

And audiences were packing in.

Just like tonight,

they're packing in to see us.

In the '70s, we were the new hot thing -

stand-up comics,

young people doing this thing.

So I would come over here in the middle

of the day and make a hamburger.

They let us have food.

That was one good thing about the place -

they would let us have food and T-shirts,

so I wore a Comic Strip T-shirt.

I would come here in the afternoon,

make a hamburger,

and then I would have another one,

another hamburger at night.

And I was consuming

about 30 pounds of chopped meat a month.

[audience groans]

I was like a trained seal coming in here.

I was just...

Just feeding me, and I would come up,

and, just,

"Tramway, left bit, good night,"

and that was, you know, that was it.

[laughter]

Somebody gave me a shower radio

as a present for my apartment.

I could have used a couch.

Oh, shower radio, that's a nice gift.

No better place to dance than naked

on a slick surface next to a glass door.

[laughter]

But I still feel that comedy culture,

I'll call it, of New York City.

I feel that it's still here.

So, I'm at a light, and there's a guy

crossing in front of my car,

and then the light changed.

It was actually my turn to go.

They were in front of the car.

The New Yorkers, you know how they just

raise their elbows up to pretend?

[laughter]

Here's an impression of someone hurrying,

but they don't go any faster.

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