Jeff Dunham: Controlled Chaos Page #4

Synopsis: Jeff Dunham is back in his much-anticipated fourth concert event, with all-new material and unparalleled comedy that surpasses his record-breaking specials Arguing with Myself, Spark of Insanity, and A Very Special Christmas Special. All the favorites are here, plus two never-before-seen characters certain to unleash their own unique havoc on stage. Dunham is an international phenomenon with sold out stadium concerts, one-half billion YouTube views, and television shows that remain among the highest rated in Comedy Central history. Controlled Chaos is guaranteed to deliver an unequaled number of laughs per minute - whether you're a Dunham Maniac or seeing him and his partners for the very first time.
Genre: Comedy, Documentary
Director(s): Michael Simon, Matthew McNeil
Actors: Jeff Dunham
 
IMDB:
7.6
  Jeff Dunham: Controlled Chaos Movie Quotes »
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UNRATED
Year:
2011
97 min
1,194 Views

(audience cheering)

Walter:
Holy crap, will you shut the hell up?!

(Jeff chuckles)

Walter:
You, too.

JEFF DUNHAM:
Are you all right?

Walter:
No!

JEFF DUNHAM:
What's wrong?

Walter:
I'm pissed.

JEFF DUNHAM:
Why?

Walter:
I have no idea.

JEFF DUNHAM:
Walter , have you ever thought about being happy?

Walter:
Yeah.

JEFF DUNHAM:
What happened?

Walter:
It pissed me off.

JEFF DUNHAM:
What would happen if you were happy?

Walter:
Your show would suck.

(laughter)

JEFF DUNHAM:
You know, Walter, just once I think you should try being happy.

Walter:
You're an idiot.

(chuckles)

Walter:
What the hell is wrong with you?

JEFF DUNHAM:
What?

Walter:
I call you an idiot, and you smile like I gave you cake.

JEFF DUNHAM:
Do you want to be in a good mood?

Walter:
Not if I'd look like a moron like you, no, thank you. I've seen you walk by perfect strangers and go, "Oh, hello. How are you? Hoo-hoo-hoo!"

JEFF DUNHAM:
So?

Walter:
That makes mothers hide their children from you.

JEFF DUNHAM:
You don't think I should be nice to strangers?

Walter:
You know, even dogs sniff a**holes first.

(howling with laughter)

Walter:
Maybe you should try that.

JEFF DUNHAM:
I don't think so.

Walter:
Actually, there are those little idiot dogs, who when they see anyone, they jump all around and then pee on themselves. You ever felt like doing that?

JEFF DUNHAM:
That's not gonna happen.

Walter:
Well, you might not jump all around,

but when you get my age, you'll piss on yourself.

JEFF DUNHAM:
Well, I'm just happy to be here tonight.

Walter:
Where the hell are we?

JEFF DUNHAM:
Richmond, Virginia.

Walter:
Oh, yeah, yeah.

(audience cheering wildly)

(prolonged applause and cheering)

Walter:
Uh, just, uh, one question: Why are we here?

JEFF DUNHAM:
It's a great part of the country.

Walter:
Not in the winter. Holy crap. I don't know.

I hate being cold. I even got cold in Vegas last week.

JEFF DUNHAM:
Oh, Vegas, yeah. You took your wife there.

Walter:
Oh, yeah.

JEFF DUNHAM:
You know, Vegas has become a great vacation spot for families.

Walter:
Oh, yeah, sure, yeah. That makes sense. Take the family to Vegas. Yeah. Cause kids love whores.

(laughter)

Walter:
Look, Mommy, there's a place with poles

like where you used to work."

(laughter)

JEFF DUNHAM:
So, Walter, you been doing anything fun

since we got here?

Walter:
Uh, yeah. What did I do today? I did something fun.

JEFF DUNHAM:
What?

Walter:
I signed up Achmed to be an organ donor. Oh, that's funny as hell right there. I'm getting sick of that guy. I think all this fame is going to his head.

Rate this script:3.0 / 2 votes

Jeff Dunham

Jeffrey "Jeff" Dunham (born April 18, 1962) is an American ventriloquist and comedian who has also appeared on numerous television shows, including Late Show with David Letterman, Comedy Central Presents, The Tonight Show and Sonny With a Chance. He has six specials that run on Comedy Central: Jeff Dunham: Arguing with Myself, Jeff Dunham: Spark of Insanity, Jeff Dunham's Very Special Christmas Special, Jeff Dunham: Controlled Chaos, Jeff Dunham: Minding the Monsters, and Jeff Dunham: All Over the Map. Dunham also starred in The Jeff Dunham Show, a series on the network in 2009.His style has been described as "a dressed-down, more digestible version of Don Rickles with multiple personality disorder". Describing his characters, Time magazine said, "All of them are politically incorrect, gratuitously insulting and ill tempered." Dunham has been credited with reviving ventriloquism, and doing more to promote the art form than anyone since Edgar Bergen.Dunham has been called "America's favorite comedian" by Slate.com, and according to the concert industry publication Pollstar, he is the top-grossing standup act in North America, and is among the most successful acts in Europe as well. As of November 2009, he has sold over four million DVDs, an additional $7 million in merchandise sales, and received more than 350 million hits on YouTube as of October 2009 (his introduction of Achmed the Dead Terrorist in Spark of Insanity was ranked as the ninth most watched YouTube video at the time). A Very Special Christmas Special was the most-watched telecast in Comedy Central history, with its DVD selling over 400,000 in its first two weeks. Forbes.com ranked Dunham as the third highest-paid comedian in the United States behind Jerry Seinfeld and Chris Rock, and reported that he was one of the highest-earning comics from June 2008 to June 2009, earning approximately $30 million during that period. Dunham also does occasional acting roles. He achieved the Guinness Book of World Records record for "Most tickets sold for a stand-up comedy tour" for his Spark of Insanity tour, performing in 386 venues worldwide. more…

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