Jeff Dunham: Arguing With Myself Page #2
- Year:
- 2006
- 1,516 Views
Sweet Daddy Dee:
Now uh you two girls are twins right?Jeff Dunham:
Well ladies and gentlemen, i have a few guys to introduce to you tonight. The first guy i met years ago when i was still in college And he's a Vietnam war veteran. And he was a welder at the time. He'd been married for many, many years. And he was just tired of being in the house and wanted to get out. He saw what i did on weekends. He thought it would be fun just toget up in front of people and just talk. Give his point of views on all kinds of subjects. So we tried it a few times,
i thought he was great We've been a team ever since.
Please help me welcome my old friend: Walter.
Walter:
Shut the hell up!Jeff Dunham:
Walter, you're happy to be here?Walter:
Overjoyed! Last week, i was lying on a beach in Maui and i couldn't decide, gee should i stay in Hawaii or go to friggin Santa Ana? My god, i can die happy now!Jeff Dunham:
It's a fine cityWalter:
I don't give a damnJeff Dunham:
What's wrong with you?Walter:
I don't know It's hot as hell outside, my skin is a dry and itchy, you put me in a sweater. Sure as hell, not gonna ask you for lotion.Jeff Dunham:
You know you don't have to do thisWalter:
Yeah, i can get a real jobJeff Dunham:
What would you do?Walter:
I wanna be a greeter at Wal-Mart. What the hell is so funny?!Jeff Dunham:
At Wal-Mart, what would be your opening line?Walter:
Welcome to Wal-Mart, get your **** (stuff) and get out! Have a nice day.Jeff Dunham:
Anything else wrong?Walter:
I don't know. My wife and i couldn't find any place to park anywhere near this stinkin joint. And some jerk pulled up in a brand new Mercedes, goes right in the handicap spot. He gets out of the car and there's nothing wrong with him. Don't you hate that?Audience:
Yeah.
Translation
Translate and read this script in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"Jeff Dunham: Arguing With Myself" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 1 May 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/jeff_dunham:_arguing_with_myself_24149>.
Discuss this script with the community:
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In