Jackass Number Two Page #5

---

Look at him. Look how tough he is.

You allow your nine-year-old son

to drink?

- It's my grandson.

- I don't give a f***.

Wow, now you swear in front of him?

What kind of role model are you?

What kind of role model are you?

Get the f*** out of here

and go back to Mississippi.

Step over this line.

Just step over that line.

- Oh! You stepped over the line!

- I didn't step over a line.

You stepped over the line.

That long hair

don't cover that red neck, boy.

Piss off!

- Let's go.

- Go crawl back in your mama's ass!

What the f*** is that?

What the hell is that?

We're sledding.

- Bam, what the hell are you doing?

- We're sledding.

- Give me a ten!

- What about my floor?

- How's your belly feeling, dude?

- I'm just a diarrhea machine.

- Is it like a baby? Is it kicking?

- It's very similar to a baby.

- Is it kicking?

- No, come on! No.

Seriously, I'm not joking. Seriously.

Are you gonna sh*t?

Wouldn't you feel better?

We have a whole wardrobe van.

I don't want a new wardrobe.

I just wanna not sh*t my pants.

So, the boys think they're

arriving in a limo for a photo shoot,

but little do they know,

we have a shitload of bees

we're going to put through the sun roof.

And we rigged the locks

so they can't get out.

And when they do get out,

we got a couple of marbles for them.

This is the Beehive Limo.

Last movie, you sh*t in a damn van

and now you get to sh*t in a limo.

Yeah, you're stepping it up.

You're stepping it up, dude.

Oh, this isn't good.

Dude, close that f***ing sun roof, dude!

F***! F***! We're locked in!

Oh, my God, that sucks!

They're f***ing stinging my legs!

Get the f*** off of me, dude!

You're getting them over here.

You guys are f***ing d*cks, man. F***.

They're on my feet!

The poor driver's running around,

freaking out.

That's so good.

Sorry, bros.

I pissed myself.

One just got me, right now,

as we speak. Look at that.

F***.

- That was real funny, f***ers.

- Is there even a photo shoot?

We're here with the Three 6 Mafia,

and it's time for the Rake Jump.

Do it!

What an idiot.

I'm going to pay this motherf***er

right here 200 smackeroos,

it's not counterfeit, it's real,

to eat horse sh*t.

But it's all furry, though.

- Eat it! Eat it! Eat it! Eat it!

- Go! Go! Go! Go!

Really eat it, though.

Chew, chew, chew!

Swallow it!

- Put your shades up!

- Hold the 200.

- Come on, soldier!

- Don't even think about not swallowing.

It's so dry!

Don't even think about it!

- Swallow it!

- Don't you even think about it.

Don't you even think about it.

- He ain't soft!

- Swallow it! Swallow it, nigga!

Give him a beer, give him a beer.

Give it to him, give it to him!

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes