Jackass 3D Page #4

Preston's is pretty gross,

but that is disgusting!

Wow!

No, don't pour that

on your boo-boo hand.

- It stings.

- That's gotta hurt.

Hey, Dunn. Do you have

any hair on your butt?

- No.

- Do you want some?

I'm thinking I'm about

due for a hairy ass, yeah.

I'm in my 30s, it hasn't

grown in natural yet.

So I think we're gonna

have to do a transplant.

Phil, can I borrow

some of your back hair?

Yeah, like having you

sit on my back?

I'm thinking about

becoming a real man.

Sure, I'll lay down

and you can sit on it.

- OK, Rake.

- You ready to go? Let's do it.

Ryan, do you shave your ass?

Shave my... Look at me!

Do I shave my ass?

I don't know

what a razor feels like.

Apparently, you don't know what

toilet paper feels like either.

- I don't!

- Make sure it's clean.

All right, go, go, go!

You gotta sit!

- Sit! Sit! Sit!

- Sit down.

Time it, two minutes

on the clock.

- Phil, you all right down there?

- Yeah.

- Consider this a bonding experience.

- Okay.

You got about 30 seconds.

Well, if I can't get

Phil's hair off of me,

then, you know, I'd really

rather prefer a ZZ Top beard.

F***ing a**hole!

You d*ckhead!

- That's not gonna come off.

- No f***ing sh*t!

That's not gonna come off.

It's going to come off.

it's going to come off.

You f***ing, f***ing pricks.

- Okay, Dunn, stand up.

- Dunn, you're up. Stand up.

Let's see if you got

some hair on your butt.

- Ready? Go.

- One, two...

- What the hell?

- Your butt looks 80 years old.

- Does it?

- Somebody should iron you.

- Look at Phil's back.

- Let me see.

Man, you're missing

a lot of hair in there.

But no doo-doo stains, right?

- No.

- Not so much.

All right, good.

Why'd you grip it like that?

Why you biting off of Preston's steez

by going...?

Wait a minute, hold

those scissors down.

Oh, you son of a b*tch.

I have a free hand.

Hello!

- Here, I'll be like this to catch him.

- All right, you catch him.

Ryan, do you want

your pants up, first?

Catch me. Catch Knox.

- Grab Barn.

- No, keep your pants down.

- I don't want my balls hanging out.

- Ready then? Three...

Man, this is gonna suck.

Three, two, go.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

F*** me, man.

What a bunch of d*cks.

That's worse than Phil.

All right.

Wee Man, what are you doing?

You take the cake, bub.

You won't come out that easy.

Why don't you want to glue

Wee Man to Preston?

- Yes.

-I should lay down,

and you should lay down on top of me.

- Woof.

- Going right for it.

Like this?

- I think like this.

- No.

- Oh, yeah.

- Oh, yeah.

-A 69.

- Glued into 69.

I think that's the best way.

Well, f***ing lube him up

or lube me up!

- Let's go!

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