Jackass - The Movie Page #4

Look at the bloody, shitty underpants.

Didn't give me a wedgie. I went forward.

I can't believe it.

That is so funny.

All right, we're here in the valley today

to do our own little riot-control test.

This is George Hruska.

All right, George, what do you do

and what are we doing here today?

Well, I'm Vice President of Operations

with A.L.S. Technologies.

We manufacture

less-lethal ammunition.

We're one of the top

manufacturing companies

in the United States.

And we're going to shoot you

with one of our projectiles.

It's called the Pen-Prevent.

It's a 40-gram, tail-stabilized bag.

It'll be traveling

about 250 feet per second.

- Is that lethal?

- It's considered less lethal.

So, this morning

I thought I was taking it in the chest

with the beanbag projectile,

but George and his company

said, "No way."

'Cause if it hits me in the heart,

I'm pretty much done with, so...

We want to take

every single precaution...

Right.

...necessary to help protect

your vital organs.

Where are my intestines?

Are they in that area?

- I think so.

- Awesome.

So are you gonna

take some practice shots?

Pressure.

- Jesus Christ.

- Yeah.

You know, this is nothing

to mess around with.

This is nothing for anybody

to just throw into a 12-gauge shotgun

and, you know, think

that they could take it.

You know,

that's one of the reasons I'm doing this

is because I can do this

in a controlled state.

Safety's off.

Going hot.

That really hurt.

That looked like it hurt.

Oh, f***, dude.

Did you see the way

I caught that beanbag with my stomach?

That's instinct.

You can't teach that.

It hurts so much.

Like going from a prone position

to standing is...

Ouch.

Hi. I'm Wee Man, and this is a big cone.

Oh, my God, my brakes!

I can't...

My brakes!

My brakes!

My brakes!

Stop me! Stop me!

Stop me!

- You all right?

- That was so fast!

- You all right?

- Yeah.

- You have... Did your brakes go out?

- Yeah. The whole thing doesn't work.

Really?

Will you push me to the top?

I wanna do it again.

I could sure go for a Miller High Life.

Oh, you're in so much trouble.

Kick her ass!

I'm about to get

the sh*t kicked out of me by a girl.

Dude, I told you to keep up the left!

Hail to the queen!

- That's the winner.

- That's it.

And the winner,

and still champion...

Now pronounce her name.

Look at his bloody mouthpiece.

Oh, God, my jaw is, like,

two inches to the left.

I seriously felt all right for a little bit,

until she punched me in the nose.

I knew she was fighting dirty.

Tropical Pole-Vaulting.

Oh, Jesus!

Go grab the dead kitty.

Dude, I've f***ing

been in there before, dude. It sucks.

Oh, God!

Since we no longer

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