InAPPropriate Comedy Page #6

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And plowing into

our farmers markets.

Or taking their planes

and plowing into pearl harbors,

They're just not safe

behind the wheel.

So either start

an internment camp,

Which is illegal,

or do what I do,

That's Ari's driving school

for the round-Eye impaired,

To help teach

these yellow kitties.

How to handle tough,

American vehicles.

Won't don't you join me today?

Welcome to

"the amazing racist."

Hi, I'm Christina.

Oh. Hi, how are you?

Good.

My name's Ari.

Hi, Ari, nice to meet you.

How are you? I...

how are you?

I will be

your instructor today.

Ok.

Your instructor.

Or sensei. Um...

ok.

Ok, put your seatbelt on.

You're very good-Looking.

Nice.

What?

It's good to look.

Oh, ok.

Hello, Charlie, how are you?

Hi, uh, Steve.

It's nice to, uh...

Nice to meet you.

Oh. Nice

to meet you, too.

Uh, ok, so, um,

Yeah, definitely

put your seatbelt on.

Um...

Go ahead and, uh, pull out.

Should I check

my mirrors, or...

It's not going to make any

difference, dude, but go ahead.

Straight up where you're

going, you're looking good.

You're... you're an authorized

instructor, right?

Easy... yes, I'm an authorized

instructor. Be careful.

This isn't Tiananmen square.

This is not a tank.

Ok.

This is a car.

Ok, sorry.

Your eyes, it would be good.

If you could open

your eyes a little bit.

Just pop them open.

If you just open them up.

Yeah. Just try to...

Yeah, try to keep them open.

Look what I'm doing.

See my eyes?

How they're open?

Yeah.

Can you try to do that?

They...

they are open.

Ehh...

How much do you think

a massage would cost?

Like a...

I don't...

I don't know.

But like, you know...

One of those massages.

What?

What...

[EXHALES]

Did I do something wrong, or...

It's just, you're driving really

f***in' dangerous right now.

Please, just try to

concentrate on the road.

Open your eyes!

Come on.

All right, listen.

Just stay there.

Um...

Just... please, stay on

the road, stay on the road.

I don't know if this is safe.

Please, it's safer than

having your eyes half closed.

Uh, ok.

Ok.

That eye is way better, right?

You can see better

out of that eye now?

Uh, I guess so, yeah.

Do you notice a difference?

Yeah, yeah.

Stay on the road,

stay on the road.

You're doing great,

you're doing fine.

You're doing fine.

There we go.

Careful, careful,

please be careful.

Please be careful,

please be careful.

Maybe after this, uh, some

sort of hand job or something.

What?

Just straight up.

S.A.T. Question.

Um, white people

are to loving their daughters.

As Asian people are to...

Um... I don't know.

Blank their daughters.

White people love... daughters.

When Asian people

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