In the Weeds Page #4

for less than 50.

That's Stan's table.

But because I find

belligerent sexy,

I will try to throw you

a few extra covers.

Now, what do you say?

Blow me.

What?

And shatter the fantasy?

This is where

we hang out and sneak food.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Adam, this is Martha.

- She's new.

- Hi.

Nice to meet you.

Get out while you still can.

Okay.

You want me to give you

a dollar?

You waiting my table tonight?

This is a very important meal.

Don't f*** it up.

Is this silverware clean?

There are fingerprints

all over this thing.

Clean it all again!

Go smoke a cigarette

or something.

Just don't let

you-know-who catch you.

Hey.

Kurt's ready for the specials,

and he's pissed off.

Soup today...

is puree of carrot.

It's not carrot puree.

If I hear anybody say

"carrot puree,"

you're f***in' fired.

No chicken stock.

So all the little

vegetarian pansies can eat it.

Appetizer is tuna tartar

with a pinch of dill sauce.

No temperature on this.

$ 10.

I got 30 of them.

I want them all gone by the end

of the f***in' shift!

Can we do the tuna

without the sauce?

What?

Can we do the tuna without...

Please come over here.

You interrupt me again,

and you're f***in' fired.

Move back, you little rat.

Entre special.

Steak au poivre,

That's "crusted with pepper"

for all you high-school actor

dropout f***in' morons.

It comes with pommes frites,

You figure that one out

on your own.

22 bucks.

No. F***.

It's 25 bucks.

86 the salmon croquettes.

Anybody have any questions?

One more thing.

Any of you little f***in' rats

go in my freezer

without my permission,

you're f***in' fired.

And after I fire you,

I'm gonna kick your f***in' ass

back to Staten Island.

Bye-bye.

- Did you clean all the menus?

- Yes.

Tell the kitchen when

the big tables are coming?

Yes.

So how's the modeling

career going?

Well, I'm not doing porn,

but I am still here.

Aren't we all?

Adam, because you're taking

Simon's table tonight.

Man came in.

- He's gonna propose.

- Okay.

He wants this in her dessert.

Crme brle.

And he gave me this.

Ah, ah.

I keep one for commission.

Okay. Follow me.

Here we go.

Do you have something

more romantic?

More romantic?

How about this table here?

Oh, my.

This is Siberia.

What's the matter,

you don't like us?

I like that.

Honey?

That's a table for four, sir.

It's gonna be fine.

Thank you.

Thanks.

So how many years

is your program?

Two years of classes

and then a year of fieldwork.

And my thesis, which is titled

"Love and Monogamy.

Yeah, Right. "

I'm starting to think

I could do my fieldwork here.

If this place counted,

I'd have a PhD.

They're all yours.

Good luck.

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