If Only

I'm really gonna miss you,

you know that?

Sam, it's just a couple of weeks.

Which is gonna seem

like an eternity, right?

An eternity, and then some.

Oh, it's better, you

bloody Englishman

- Say it again.

- Say what?

I love hearing you say English

swear words. Say 'bloody'

Hm, 'bloody'

- Now, say 'bugger'

- 'Bugger'

You bugger, you bloody bugger.

That's the word.

- Oh, crap!

- Oh, you smooth talker, you.

I have to get dressed, run through

my notes, rehearse my presentation.

Have a nervous breakdown, ignore your

half-naked girlfriend. Give me two seconds.

Sam.

Just stay right there and don't move

your cute British butt.

- Don't tell me, there's a gift.

- There's a gift.

There's always a gift.

It makes me feel very guilty.

Well, that is the general idea.

I have a present, too.

I'll give it to you later

because it's a surprise.

Great. I love surprises.

Wow!

- It's perfect.

- I know.

Vintage, Portobello road.

It's only ten pounds.

And it does come with this.

Nice lining. Silk.

What?

I have to get ready, you know

how important this meeting is.

If it goes well, you know

what that could mean.

Ian...

Sam.

Please, have mercy.

You know, that's what I was thinking, that

after you close the deal and knock them dead...

it would be a perfect time

to step back, relax, and...

- And?

- And go to Ohio.

- Sam.

I really want you to go to my mom's

wedding with me. You can meet everyone.

You're not coming?

I tried to free things up but you know...

you know how hectic work's been.

I'm really sorry.

That's okay.

Look, I'm really sorry to

let you down about Indiana.

Ohio.

Bugger! I'm sorry, again.

I'm just going to have to meet

your mom at the next wedding.

What wedding?

Ours. Next year.

Me? Marry you?

A guy who confuses the buckeye state with

the hoosier state? I don't think so.

- I'm gonna take a shower now.

- Be my guest.

# London Bridge is falling down,

# my fair lady.

- Sam?

# London Bridge is falling down...

- Sam!

# ...falling down, falling down,

# my fair lady.

I am cool.

Ready for breakfast? Bon appetite.

Hey, I don't care how big this

meeting is. You are going to eat.

Sorry, there's no time.

Aw, I'm such a klutz.

Show me.

- Better?

- Much.

Good.

'One day accessing one's genetic make-up

will be as easy as running a credit check.'

'That knowledge gives us the power

to alter our destiny.'

Alter destiny? You believe that?

Yeah, of course I do. I'm telling you

in the next fifty years...

People are still going to die.

It'll still rain right after you wash your

car, and the Stones will still be touring.

That stuff's out of your control. The only

things you can control are your own choices.

Okay.

Well, that would be the

other point of view.

But I really don't have time to debate

destiny. I'm just practicing my speech.

Excuse me.

In case we don't talk later.

Dinner tonight, Tantra, seven o'clock.

Tonight, seven o'clock?

You're kidding, right?

Kidding? Not that I'm aware of.

My concert.

The one I've been preparing for

for three years. Ring a bell?

Yeah. Your graduation concert.

I didn't forget that. That's...

Tonight. Seven o'clock.

I'm an ass.

I'm so sorry, Sam. Really

I can't believe I did that.

Good luck. In your meeting. Not that

you need it. You're gonna be great.

I'm sorry.

You've got to be kidding me. Uh!

Oh, no, the stupid jerk.

You know, don't be late.

I'll take care of this.

I'll see you tonight at the concert.

Concert? What concert?

I was kidding. Kidding, you see,

because it turns out

I forgot the thing and...

Oh, this must be that British

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