I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With Page #3

Nice Romanesque vaulting.

- They don't make this anymore.

- You love Chicago.

I do. I know. Manny's.

Manny's is great,

but my car is up by Wrigley Field.

- Why is it up by Wrigley?

- I found a great space.

But you don't live by Wrigley.

Shouldn't your car be near where you live?

Yeah, but I got a great space.

[Speaking Filipino Angrily]

Nothing hotter than

an elderly angry Filipino woman.

- Nothing in the world.

- Nothing in the world.

- Look at that.

- Arrgh, matey. Get your hot dogs.

Get your hot dogs. Arrgh.

What does being a pirate

have to do with hot dogs?

That's sad.

- Why a pirate?

- I don't know. Let's go find out.

- Let's go ask him.

- I gotta go to the bank.

All right. You go to the bank.

I'm gonna find out why he's a pirate.

- Find out.

- All right.

Thank you, ladies. Arrgh.

Hey, James.

- Yeah?

- Larry.

- Larry?

- It's...

- Larry?

- It's Larry.

- What are you doing? You're dressed like a pirate.

- Yeah.

- What does pirates have to do with hot dogs?

- Listen. You gotta do me a big favor.

I got a big audition at 11:00,

and my boss won't let me leave...

unless I get somebody to cover for me.

- Not me.

- Come on, man. You owe me.

- Well, what's the audition for?

- Uh, Marty.

Marty?

- Yeah, Marty.

- Paddy Chayefsky's Marty?

I guess.

Why would they remake Marty?

That makes no sense.

Marty's a perfect movie.

Won an Academy Award.

Ernest Borgnine won an Academy Award.

I even have the video version with Rod Steiger.

I've seen it a million times.

It takes place in New York, not Chicago.

My reading's this afternoon.

- Who's the casting director?

- Burl Canasta.

Burl Canasta?

He loves me.

Why didn't Burl Canasta bring me in?

I'm perfect for Marty.

- That makes no sense.

- Would you cover for me?

I've always wanted to do anything by

Paddy Chayefsky. Now they're remaking Marty.

- Wait. Who is Paddy Chayefsky?

- Who's Paddy Chayefsky?

He's one of the greatest writers

that's ever lived.

He wrote Marty.

He won an Academy Award for it.

- I'm sorry. I didn't know.

- He also wrote Network.

Is that the movie where everyone,

uh, yells out the window?

Yes. That's what it's about,

people yelling out the window.

- Yeah, I didn't see it. I remember it.

- Oh, that's beautiful.

Please do me this one favor.

You owe me.

You ripped the cover

on my Silver Surfer number one.

- I told you I'd paid you back.

- When?

Well, I'd much rather pay you back.

Lookit. You cover for me,

and we'll call it even.

- Can I have two?

- [James] Sure.

- Do you have mustard?

- No.

Oh, then I don't want any.

Hey, little fella. Why you wearin' a poncho?

It's so nice out.

Whenever I'm bad,

my dad makes me wear it.

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