i-Lived Page #2

Puttin' it.

Can you name me one of these

girls that you put your dick in?

- Jill's been gettin' it.

- Jill?

Dude, she's... That's a

great made-up name.

No, she's been gettin'

the dick, dude.

You're doing your bobblehead thing.

It's like a woodpecker.

That's how I know you're lyin'.

All right, I...

I just don't want to get in

another relationship, okay?

I'm not talking about

relationships, dude.

I'm talking about getting

that scent back on you.

- What scent?

- The scent... of vagina.

Ugh. You're so creepy, dude.

It's the scent that lets ladies

know you don't need 'em.

Because you get laid all the time, man.

B*tches love that scent.

So, what we're gonna do

is we're gonna refocus.

We're gonna hook you up with a

couple of hotties tonight, man.

'Cause I swear to God, you could

do a lot better than that.

My ex was super cute.

No, she wasn't, man.

She had a big nose,

and... F*** you, dude.

That was debatable.

Marie Helen.

Bonjour, mon petit poussin.

That means "little chicken."

It's French.

Yes, this is Bobby Yen. I'll

be there in a minute, baby.

Okay. Okay, bye.

Why are you talking

with a French accent?

Dude... I'm Filipino.

Oh. Where did you go?

I had to go to the bathroom.

I was takin' a piss.

You were gone for a while.

- Yeah, I take long, long pisses.

- Oh. That's...

You look great, by the way.

I love this.

Oh, thanks. It's a necklace.

Yeah, it's a great necklace.

Thank you.

- Anyways, where's your friend at?

- Oh, she got sick.

Hey, Josh.

The friend, she got sick. She's

not showin' up. I'm sorry.

Yeah. I'm-I'm cool.

Don't worry about it.

We can get the f*** out of here

if you want.

- No, it's cool. You just owe me.

- We're cool?

Better, uh, watch out. Looks like

some guy's moving in on your turf.

All right.

Yo. What the hell is that?

Oh. Uh, nothing.

You just buy a girl

a drink, dude?

No. I drink these all the time.

Yeah, you did. Which one?

Ooh. She's hot.

Hey. Now's your chance.

Go get it.

No way. Did you see the way she

just dissed that Abercrombie guy?

I don't have a chance, man.

All those good-looking guys

are gay.

Now go over there and do your thing, man.

Be yourself.

Like a... like a cool version

of yourself. You know?

The sky's the limit, you're

the man, all that sh*t.

Go get it. Have fun.

I bet you're a Kamikaze girl.

Are you asking me

if I have a death wish?

No. What...

What? Like, the drink...

Like... Kamikazes?

No. Sorry.

Okay, sorry I asked.

What? That's it?

I'm sorry?

You said that already.

Right. Okay, uh, it's just a drink

that I thought you might enjoy.

That's... That's it.

You could just ask a girl.

Yeah, I could do that.

Or are you too macho?

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