How I Won the War Page #5

Oh, come on, don't give me that.

The sea has always bred heroes.

At the battle of Trafalgar, one of the

French captains had both legs blown off.

- And he directed his men to the end.

- I'll see what I can do for you.

- More than my job's worth.

- Mount, come on. Juldi/ Drivers, start up!

We do have some drivers, don't we?

Well, who drove them on? I did.

Clutch in, move gear, pedal down,

clutch out, now all together.

(all) Clutch in, move gear,

pedal down, clutch out.

Very good.

Come on, come on. Give me some speed.

Put that brake on.

Clutch. Don't get too near the man in front.

It's working.

It this absolutely North Africa?

Because I'd like you

to have my best boots.

I don't want your best boots.

Gear in. Accelerator down. Best boots(!)

No, they're good lads.

They'd follow you anywhere.

Hark at them, gazing on me

with their trusting little eyes.

- Sir.

- Shufty.

My feet's wet, sir. Sir, my feet's wet.

- It's disgusting. They are manky.

- Well, they're yours.

- You gave them toys.

- Yours.

I haven't been able to command respect

since before the war.

Right, stop! Stop!

Stop!

Then they're Mr Goodbody's,

who we seem to have mislaid.

We'll do our best to find him. I'm gonna

shoot the bleeder, dropping me in it.

Out, Gripweed. Handbrake on.

Come here.

- Is your feet, Gripweed, wet?

- No.

You're giving me lies.

Goodbody will want to see your feet.

- They dried.

- Then you best get them wet again. Move!

- At the double.

- At the double.

- Anybody else?

- Left, right, left, right...

- (horn)

- Sarge!

(horn blares)

I'll teach you to try

to put the blame on me.

That was a nasty moment.

Right, all together now.

- Mr Goodbody, sir.

- (all) Mr Goodbody, sir.

(all) Mr Goodbody! Mr Goodbody, sir!

Peter Nan Oboe...

Peter Nan Oboe... Peter Nan Oboe...

Netting call, net now.

Seen any Musketeers

swanning about, trooper?

Come here.

Come here.

All stations, report my signal.

Peter Nan Oboe... Peter Nan Oboe...

Fourth Muskets, aren't you?

Been expecting you.

- Blue, white and two reds.

- I'm green, green, green, sir.

Oh, I know you are.

Well, keep out of my way

until the pitch is ready to play.

Peter Nan Oboe...

Hello, all stations, report my signal.

- Where are they?

- Who, sir?

- The Bedoo, my wily Arabs.

- I've lost contact with my men too, sir.

- Oh, brew, sir?

- Treating them right? No!

- They think the world of me.

- They should be up here then.

- No brew.

- Bum on. On to Tripoli.

Uh...

- Come on.

- I was wondering, sir, a lift.

Sir... I...

Bum on. Bum on.

- Oh, it's gonna hurt, Flo.

- Damn, damn!

Get me another vehicle.

Come on, come on, come on.

- Ah!

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