Hot Tub Time Machine Page #3

supposed to know, dude?

But it's illegal.

Hey, why didn't we just go to Pinnacle?

It would have taken, like, half the time.

You wanna go to Kodiak Valley, trust me.

You're at the right age for it.

- Really?

- Yeah.

Nobody gets carded

and everybody gets laid.

K- Val! K-Val! K-Val!

- K-Val! K-Val!

- K-Val! K-Val!

Oh, sh*t! K-Val!

This? This is the coolest town ever?

F***! That used to be Papa Enzo's.

I broke up with Jenny Stedmeyer there.

- What made you break up with her, again?

- I don't know.

We swapped virginities junior year.

All we did was listen to records

and have sex.

And she was epic,

I mean she was... She was epic.

Yeah, man. She was hot.

And then when I broke up with her,

she was so mad,

she practically stabbed me in the eye

with a fork.

Actually, she did stab me

in the eye with a fork.

She was a one-percenter, man.

- Yeah.

- All downhill from there.

That was a big one. First love.

The one that got away.

The great white buffalo.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

The great what?

Great white buffalo.

Why are you guys whispering?

Great white buffalo.

That was really helpful, you guys.

Thank you.

Look at this place.

I'm gonna make a prediction right now.

One of us is gonna start writing a novel,

and then we all get snowed in,

and then Lou's gonna ax murder all of us.

Motherfuck.

What's that smell?

F***ing cats.

Kind of a lot of cats. This sucks.

- Hi.

- Hi.

You got a reservation

for Webber-Agnew?

Sorry. What was that name again?

Webber-Agnew. Webber and Agnew.

I got a "Nick Webber-Agnew."

I'm sorry, excuse me. What?

What did you just say?

Webber-Agnew?

Webber-f***ing-Agnew?

You took your wife's last name?

You're a f***ing hyphenate?

A lot of dudes are doing it.

It's progressive.

No. No dudes are doing it.

You look like a progressive guy.

Is that progressive?

- Would you do that? No.

- No.

And he has a goatee.

Does this guy

seem a little imbalanced to you?

- No. Come on.

- He's right there. Shut up.

Let me give you a hand with that.

Hey!

I am not going to tell you again!

I can handle it.

This guy's a f***ing dick.

- Shh. He's disabled.

- He can hear you.

So what? He's exempt from

common f***ing courtesy

'cause he can't start a round of applause?

He's gotta jerk off one-handed?

I mean, I certainly don't take my hands

and I put them together and oil them up...

Hey, 420. Our old room. Check it out.

- That's okay man.

- Oh! Those are mine.

I'll just get those.

This is the part where you tip

the guy that helped you out.

I'm not the guy that...

Nick, pay the man something.

- I got it. Don't worry.

- This place looks like sh*t!

What happened to that guy?

Check this sh*t out. It's still there.

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