Hot Fuzz Page #3

- Hey, now, I need to speak to him.

- He'll be no use till the morning.

I see.

You really want to process all this lot?

- My pen's running out.

- Not a problem.

- Morning, Sergeant.

- Morning.

Morning.

Morning, Sergeant.

Morning, Sergeant.

- Lock me up.

- I'm sorry?

I'm a slasher and I must be stopped.

- You're a what?

- A slasher of prices.

Just kidding. I'm Simon Skinner.

I run the local supermarch.

Drop in and see me sometime.

My discounts are criminal.

Catch me later!

Morning, Sergeant.

Morning, Sergeant.

Could you tell the Inspector

I've arrived, please?

No.

Why?

He's not in yet.

- Well, how's our guest?

- Guest?

- The inebriate in cell four.

- I don't know. Nobody tells me nothing.

Can I get cell four open, please?

Danny, can you open four?

- He's gone.

- Oh, my God. Who's gone?

- Why are you dressed like a police officer?

- Because I am one.

Sergeant Angel, at last. Frank Butterman.

- I see you've already met my boy.

- Yes.

Do forgive me.

I'm something of a Wild West nut.

Speaking of which, that was a fair

few outlaws you rounded up last night.

Thank you, sir.

I admire your enthusiasm

and far be it from me to stifle your flair,

but this isn't London.

Oh, yes, please, Danny.

With respect, sir,

geographical location shouldn't factor

in the application of the law.

No, thanks.

Statistically, Sandford is

the safest village in the country.

But that doesn't mean

it requires anything less

than a careful and considered approach.

There's a reason we accommodate

a few of the younglings at the pub.

- The greater good?

- The greater good. Precisely.

Your predecessor assumed

that rural policing was easy.

Ended up having a nervous breakdown.

And Sergeant Popwell was

an exceptional officer, truly exceptional.

And he had one thing you haven't got.

- What's that, sir?

- A great big bushy beard.

Come on, let's have a mosey around.

Locker room.

Riot room.

Evidence room.

Now, how about a trip to the Andes?

Detective Sergeant Wainwright

and Detective Constable Cartwright.

Don't get up.

I expect you're wondering

why we call them the Andes.

- They're both called Andrew?

- They said you were good.

Also, because talking to them is

an uphill struggle, isn't it, Dad?

- F*** off!

- Thank you, Danny.

And this is where it all happens.

That is Sergeant Tony Fisher.

PC Bob Walker.

And that is Saxon.

And this is one Doris Thatcher.

- She's our only policewoman.

- She's not a policewoman.

- Yeah, she is. I've seen her bra.

- She's a police officer.

Being a woman has nothing to do with it.

Oh, I don't know.

Comes in handy every so often.

I could've given you the tour.

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