Horse Feathers Page #7

Oh, you're beautiful.

You're overcoming me.

- Thanks for reminding me.

I like you. You got something.

I'm gonna tell him he's crazy.

Professor, what are you doing here?

Nothing, since you came in.

You know him?

- He put me on the football team.

Now I just have to get him

off the couch.

Read any good books lately?

This must be the main highway.

Follow me,

I've been doing this all day.

Pretty popular place. - Yeah,

a hot dog stand would clean up.

What are you doing here?

- Me? I'm the music teacher.

Since when?

- Since you came in.

And you? - I'm the plumber. In case

something goes wrong with her pipes.

I haven't used that joke for 20 years.

Take a deep breath and follow me.

Cosy place we have here.

You sing high, eh?

- I have a falsetto voice.

My last pupil,

she gotta false set of teeth.

So maybe it's better you don't sing.

That's much better. I'll sing.

"Everyone says I love you,

the big mosquito when he sting you,

the fly when he's stuck on

the fly paper, too, says I love you.

Every time the cow says "moo",

she's making the bull very happy too,

and the rooster when he holler

cock-a-doodly-doo, says I love you.

Christopher Columbo, he write

the Queen of Spain a nice little note,

he say how I love you, then he get

a great big boat. He's a wise guy.

What you think Columbo do,

when he's coming here in 1492,

He says to Pocahontas, atch-a catchy

coo, which means I love you!"

Maybe it's better I don't sing, too.

- Yes. - Alright, I'll play.

I love good music. - So do I,

let's get out of here. - Sit down.

I've got to stay here. But you folks

can go into the lobby till it's over.

Well, that's all for the first lesson.

Next week I teach you how to breathe.

Don't breathe before then.

If this is a singing lesson,

I'm a ring-tailed monkey.

Keep your family out of it. Baravelli!

- What?

Are you going my way? - Yes.

- Then I'm staying here.

No you don't. And if I find you here

again, it'll be curtains.

Tell my son to take that lamp down.

Dad!

You've got the wrong football players.

- The whole team?

No, Baravelli and the dog catcher.

But I got them in the speakeasy.

- You got the wrong ones.

The ones I told you about are playing

for Darwin. - Send for Baravelli.

Don't leave a stone unturned.

He's probably under one.

Baravelli!

...2671, 57, 84, 59, 71...

What are you doing in there?

- I'm practising secret signals.

Come on out.

What do you want? - You can fix it

for our team to win. - Oh no,

I want to play. - Alright, but listen.

I want two Darwin players kidnapped.

Have you any experience in kidnapping?

- You bet. You know what I do?

First I call them up,

then I send them my chauffeur.

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