Horrible Bosses Page #3

Oh, my God. I'm sorry, man.

I know you guys were close.

Yeah. Yeah, I loved that guy.

I loved working for him, you know?

It was, like, awesome.

Now his shitbag son's

gonna be in charge and it's like--

The cokehead?

Yeah. Know how many times

I caught him doing blow at work?

This thing's a real bummer. Sorry. You're

the only one of us who didn't hate his job.

Did I tell you that Harken tricked me

into having a drink at 8:00 this morning?

I mean, I work for the Antichrist.

- How did he trick you?

- I thought he was giving you a promotion.

He is, definitely.

That's why he's being extra evil.

This is his last chance

to make my life miserable.

Right. At least your boss

isn't sexually harassing you.

- God. Here we go.

- Don't give me sh*t.

You won't get sympathy for this.

She's going crazy. It's like a totally

hostile work environment now, man.

- It's not funny.

- Yeah?

All right, today she starts spraying water

at my crotch to see the outline of my dick.

- That's great.

- It's not great.

What are you talking about?

Why don't you just, you know, f*** her?

Because I am engaged to be married

and I love my fiance, okay?

That's true.

- Congratulations.

- Thank you.

What about getting

a different dental hygienist job?

I can't get another job.

- No, he's a child molester, Nick.

- No, uh, deviant. Sexual deviant?

What is it? How do they classify it?

Sex offender.

I'm on the registered

sex offender list, yes.

You can't get that expunged? All you did

was pull your dick out on a playground.

I was taking a piss at night,

there were no kids.

All right, you know what? You don't

put a playground right next to a bar.

-It's entrapment.

- Mm-hm.

Speaking of entrapment, I'm gonna go

see that girl about her vagina.

Excuse me.

He did say 10:
00, right?

- Yeah. Do you know what this is about?

- It just said "staff meeting" on the memo.

It's funny how he gets all over my ass if I'm

a minute late, but then he makes us wait 15.

-You were two minutes late.

- Morning.

Didn't think I had to punch a clock

with you.

I'll just attribute this

to your drinking problem.

- I don't have--

- Please, we're in the middle of a meeting.

Morning, everyone.

So I have finally decided...

...who I want to be our new

senior vice president of sales.

He's right here in this room.

- It's me.

- What'd he say?

I've decided to absorb

the responsibilities...

...of the senior VP position

into my own.

I've realized if you wanna get something

done right, you gotta do it yourself.

I'll break through the wall of the office

that would have been the senior VP's...

...and make one huge, enormous office.

However, I will only be taking 85 percent

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