Homies
- Year:
- 2015
- 100 min
- 78 Views
1
OK. I am Timo.
And this is the story
of the total chaos called 'my life'.
I made a bit of mess of it.
I can explain...
...but then I would like to start
from the beginning.
It is not really a standard story,
as such.
But if my life were standard...
...I wouldn't know
what to do with it at all.
For some reason
I am always surrounded by hipsters.
I hate that. I am not a hipster.
I don't trust adults on skateboards.
What are you trying to be?
Can't let go of secondary school?
Well, anyway...
I have my own company,
a concept developing company.
The advantage of having your own
company is that you decide what to do.
See you in a bit.
The disadvantage is
you have to take other jobs...
...to pay the rent.
Sir? Hello?
This is a mouse.
And you use it to click with.
OK, so maybe I don't have
a Steve Jobs lifestyle...
...but I make good money
and those people are really happy.
Lately, I am working on
the development of a new app.
Oh, and this is my programmers team.
They are helping me with my app.
Your mum gets horny when she's drunk.
- Shut up.
You weren't at that LARP weekend.
My girlfriend won't let me.
- She has a say?
Because of last year.
- That's right.
When you were shagging that Noban elf
in the Hell Temple of Gozlapan.
You must have some Orc killer
down there. That girl made some noise.
I thought the Orzabis were sacrificing
her in exchange for Gompri.
If it's Astrid, I'm not here.
- Appalicious, Guido speaking.
Today I have a date with my girl.
SIX MONTHS AGO:
It's over, Timo.
I don't want this anymore.
All right, my ex-girlfriend.
I would like to keep seeing you,
but you seem to be stuck in a rut.
You never finish anything you start,
you still live with those three blokes.
It is...
I don't want this kind of life, yeah?
Well, ex... It feels more like
we are in a long break phase.
Sometimes people make you think
It's not exactly nice,
but in my case it did open my eyes.
It all started with a dinner
with Sophie.
Good evening.
- Hello.
I believe you have a reservation
under Sophie van Rozen.
Yes, I believe she's here.
I'll have a look.
Do you need any help, madam?
- Yes, please.
That bloody coat.
- Thank you.
Oh, a kiss and a hug.
I'm a lucky girl.
It's funny how that works...
...all day long you think:
this will be so awkward.
But once you're there, it's not so bad.
We pick up where we left off,
without pregnant silences.
I wanted to bring you a bottle of wine,
for your birthday.
But it's odd bringing your own wine
to a fancy restaurant.
So I thought I'd send it to you.
I like receiving parcels as well.
It turns out that most post offices
have vanished.
They've been taken over
by tobacconists. So weird.
And sending it cost more
than the wine itself...
...so I'll just drop it off
at your place one of these days.
Sorry, I am really glad to see you.
How are you?
I'm fine. Busy, super busy, really.
Why is it that the best you can do
nowadays is to be 'busy'?
If you are busy, you must be doing well.
And you?
- Super busy as well.
See?
- Some very exciting things, and...
Let me get right to the point.
- F***, she's seeing someone.
I'm seeing someone.
- Damn.
And...
- Sh*t, she's getting married.
- F***.
How nice. That's great.
Yes.
I wonder what you will think of him.
- Of who?
Ferry. He's kind of wild,
So he will be joining us?
-Ferry.
OK, don't be predisposed. I bet
he's probably a really nice guy.
and kittens in his spare time.
Hey, Ferry.
Timo.
- I know.
Hey, love, I had trouble
convincing the bar staff...
...but they still had one bottle
of your favourite wine.
No, I might already be pregnant.
- One glass can't hurt. Toughen him up.
OK, I don't like this bloke one bit.
Sh*t.
- Timo, that's bad luck.
Are you still superstitious?
- Over your shoulder.
I'm sorry.
- What's with you?
F***.
Nice going. Ginger knob.
Sir, it was an accident.
It was my fault.
it couldn't get any worse.
Trust me.
"You ain't seen nothin' yet."
Are you OK?
I'll get some more dry napkins.
But... congratulations, man.
- What for?
Becoming a father.
- Oh, that.
It's a matter of eating plenty of nuts.
And eggs. Good for your f*** pattern.
Your what?
Cum. Jizz. Luke-warm man juice.
- I got it.
Food is everything.
Are you seeing anyone new yet?
If you want to put a bun in
a girl's oven, you know what you do?
Give me your hand.
When you're humping her, right,
and you feel you're going to blow...
...you shove it in.
And I mean really shove it in.
Really deep.
Down to the roots.
And while the last shot is going in...
...you slowly push up her legs,
while you keep humping and breathing.
Then you look her in the eyes, and...
- Fer, what are you doing?
I'm telling Timo about our method.
- Let go of him.
Why?
It has nothing to do with you.
Why on earth is she seeing this prick
with fingers?
After going with me,
how could you pick such a knob?
How is your app coming?
Be honest, it's still in development.
And don't give me this 'in development'.
After I filter out a few bugs,
it will be ready to launch.
Liar. You don't even have a title yet.
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"Homies" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/homies_10115>.
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