Hole in One Page #2

triangulating my phone signal right now

with a pitchfork and a dowsing rod.

You make all the fun you want to,

monkey boy,

but that vehicle is gonna be mine.

All right, Mr Crazy-Ass Repo Man,

I gotta take off.

Listen, it's been real.

I hope to run into you real soon.

Yeah, you can bet on it.

(SINGING) Here, kitty, kitty

Won't you be my kitty cat

ROMAN:
That's him, the wonder boy.

Mr Scratch Golfer.

That's the little punk.

CARLTON:
He made a deuce

on the 18th at Cliffside.

- Like he was doing it in his sleep.

- ROMAN:
He's costing us money.

- Don't worry about a thing, Roman.

- We've got it covered.

ROMAN:
All right.

- (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)

- (EXCLAIMING)

- Wakes you up, doesn't it?

- I like it.

- Yeah, hey, Dad.

- DOUG:
Hey, Eric.

- What's up?

- You need something? What's up?

- Nothing. Just studying.

- Studying, huh?

Yeah. Hey, listen. Did some guy call you

from the car dealership?

Someone called my secretary.

What's up about that?

No, no, everything's cool. Everything's cool.

- There's some kind of recall on the brakes.

- Really?

I don't know, they've been squealing,

making all kinds of noise.

It sounds like an anvil

squashing a sack of kittens.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Hot.

He's got, like, those arms that are...

Oh, my God.

So, he really didn't like it, huh?

Are you even listening to me, man?

He didn't just "not like it", all right?

Hey, hey, hey. He f***ing hated it.

So what, dude? Who cares what he thinks?

His buy-in would've made it a lot easier

to win over my old man.

Yeah, but who cares? You're living proof

that the class doesn't mean sh*t!

You're out there doing it in the real world.

Well, that's it.

I'm taking a page out of your book.

I'm dropping out

and running PAHR full-time.

- Come on. What?

- You said it yourself.

We're making it happen.

I just need to focus on the business

and quit this useless school crap.

You're insane. You're a madman.

You're one to talk, elevator man.

Hey, you guys.

Let's go get some tits on tape.

Go with him. Keep an eye on him.

Out of the three of us, he's the only one

that even stands a chance of graduating.

Let's go.

Ladies, who wants to

make a mistake tonight?

Gross.

Take that.

(REGGAE MUSIC PLAYING)

- Hey, what's your name?

- Mandy.

Mandy, if I told you, you had a rocking body,

would you hold it against me?

Thanks.

I love this dress.

(WHISPERING)

What did you say to her?

Who? Oh, her?

I may have mentioned that

you used to be a dude.

What?

It's believable.

You got like a really chiselled jaw line,

well-defined traps, nice bone structure...

Yeah.

So what about these?

Oh, those?

Those can be faked.

- Really?

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